Nora decides that the only thing to do in this situation is to go stalk the Professional Radio Person she so ungraciously shrieked at in the hallway earlier. Instead of glancing around nervously for the exits while surreptitiously shoving a butter knife up his sleeve in case he needs a shiv later, he invites her to sit down. She sits right next to (not across from) him and explains that his assistant told her where he was. He makes a note, "Fire assistant" on his notepad and turns back to Nora. Obviously she orders what he's having, because that's what Single White Females do. She apologizes for mocking him for not spawning and then launches into a one-woman monologue of which Eve Ensler would be proud except she doesn't mention her vagina even once. Instead she talks about her girls and how they used to be little, but now they are big, and she worries and then she cries a little. It is a darn good thing that she is unloading on a Professional Radio Personality instead of some workaday chicken fryer or something because instead of backing away nervously, the Professional leans in and lets her sniffle and rant. She composes herself finally and apologizes for using him for free therapy. He kindly states that she doesn't need a therapist (no, really, he said that with a straight face) but needs a friend. OOOOOooooh a Walker has a friend! Quick let's take a poll: Will he be fired, killed in a season ending cliffhanger, forced into rehab, a con man, or offered a dream job across the country?
Later, Justin drops David off at the house and David is thanking Justin for embarrassing him at work and dragging him to a meeting. Just another day in the life of a busybody Walker. Holly comes in with a plastic bag full of the jewelry she was wearing at the time of the accident. She pulls out the engagement ring and tells David that she remembers it. Like, remembers remembers. David looks unimpressed, but swears he's not back on drugs. He just really doesn't give a shit that Holly remembers she had a ring once. Holly swears it is a bigger deal than that because she remembers the feeling she had when he gave it to her. Justin tries to step out of the room, because AWKWARD. But Holly won't let him. She is making progress and Justin should too. She doesn't want him using her and David to try and hold on to Rebecca. He nods. I call five minutes until he is boning the nurse.
Kitty is milling about her house when Sarah calls. She is standing on the front porch with a bottle of Apology Wine, vintage '10. Kitty is touched, but also amused because she just stuck a bottle of Apology Wine, vintage '10 in the freezer to chill. Great [alcoholic] minds think alike. Sarah sits as Kitty cracks the bottle open. She is sorry that she totally lost her cool. She's just worried that Mommy and Daddy liked Kitty more. She wouldn't blame them for it, because Kitty is pretty impressive what with being Prom Queen and almost being First Lady and generally marrying well. Oh yeah and her career. What did she do again? Well, whatever it was, she was awesome at it. And Sarah was jealous because all she was good at was business until she ran Ojai into the ground.
Anyway, when Kitty wanted to go into business with her, she went to her dark place. The place where she never even got to be on the homecoming court and she got sad. But now she has remembered she is a grown up dating an artist turned underwear model turned artist and has two nosy children and BANGS and is totally going rock the business world with her own personal $55 million fortune. So if Kitty wants to work with her, she can. As her secretary. Kitty gracefully says no. She wants to be a teacher now and so she just called some guy she knows and gets to teach at a university. DONE! Gosh, it sure is easy to get jobs in Walkerlandia. Sarah smiles and says she is buying a media company tomorrow. Because that is exactly how business works. Then she tells Kitty the punchline: Come tomorrow she's going to own Nora's radio station. Kitty cackles, but says Nora will hate it and go crazy. Sarah shrugs, 'cause that'll show her mom.
Scotty is alone in the restaurant's kitchen and his chef's whites are immaculate, but he swears the kitchen is closed when Kevin wanders in. Kevin is finally ready to talk. He knows he is needy and requires a lot of attention, but he can't help it, it is genetic. Has Scotty met his mother? Scotty tells him again that it hurt so much when Kevin didn't come to his opening, but he would never sleep with a waiter again. Kevin sighs that he can't make the same promise because he is neurotic and needy and demanding and high maintenance and a time suck and whiny and desperate. He is Walker, hear him ROAR! Or whine. Scotty counters that he is also loyal and kind. Kevin wants to continue growing with Scotty and move past all this, but he doesn't know how to prove his commitment. Scotty has a suggestion: Forgive him.
It's been seven minutes, so I lose, BUT Justin is at the hospital begging Nurse Hottie to go out with him. He apologizes for bailing on her and wants to make it up to her with a good snog in a dark corner. She balks, "You and me and the in-laws?" Watch it, lady, I make the jokes around here. Justin good-naturedly takes the ribbing and explains that the in-laws dumped him yesterday and he is a free man. She stupidly starts flirting back, because clearly seven minutes has changed everything and Justin is totally date-able now. IDIOT.
Kitty and Sarah take time out of their busy teaching and mogul-ing schedules to go see Paige's debate team competition. Nora is on her way and Kitty thinks Sarah should tell her right now, in a public, well-lit place, that she is taking over her radio station and despite owning a bazillion other companies will undoubtedly be intimately involved with the day-to-day operations of Nora's new job. Kitty and Sarah hug and Nora spots them. She is not happy. How dare they start hugging and being friendly without her prior written approval? Are they trying to render her obsolete? She walks around them to go get a seat up front, but Sarah stops her: She is buying a media company. Nora is happy for her. Kitty adds the kicker: She's buying Nora's radio station. Nora is not happy. She marches inside, pushing past Paige, who is looking for Kevin and Scotty and the return on her investment in 20 viewings of The Parent Trap. No one has seen them and doesn't think they are coming. Paige looks heartbroken, but then the clouds part, a golden beam comes down and Scotty and Kevin ride down on a golden carriage driven by unicorns. Paige jumps up and down in glee that all her hard work paid off and she is totally going to put Best Couple Fixer Ever on her college applications, but does it go under "Skills" or "Accomplishments"? Scotty and Kevin smile beatifically at her and instruct her to break a leg so they can fix it with the healing powers of love. She runs in to dominate her debate team. Scotty and Kevin clasp hands and walk inside. In love. I can't be the only one with "re-united and it feels so good" stuck in her head, right? Either that or gag me with a chainsaw.