This episode, Kevin has stopped practicing law. Don't worry, he'll be back at it next episode. Instead, he is working as a hostess at Scotty's restaurant for no apparent reason other than to screw things up and give Justin a hard time. Why? Because Justin has a new hottie that he's storing in the walk-in. And another in the storage closet. Sadly, he's not giving this show a turn for the Dexter, but instead has turned himbo. He's swapping spit with every available female in Scotty's restaurant, which has got to violate some Health Department regulation. After two of the lady staff members almost come to blows over the gay divorcé, Scotty has no choice but to send the musky rat home.
Luc's glamorous French mother (played by Sonia Braga) makes a surprise visit, much to Luc's chagrin. Luc won't let her stay at his home, but Nora lets her shack up with her. Those French know how to slumber party! Luc's mom quickly deduces Nora's interest in Professional Radio Person Carl and helpfully suggests she just jump on that Silver Fox. In exchange, Nora helps her work on her sour relationship with Luc by inviting Luc and Sarah over to dinner.
Luc's mom invites Carl over to Walker Manor for a staged seduction. Nora is not too keen on the plan and is even less so when Luc's mom relinquishes all cooking duties, has Carl come over two hours early (and Nora without her Latisse!), and then proceeds to make a big, steamy, flirty impression on him. Who knew she was the star of his favorite French film? Leonard Bernstein documentaries just can't compare. Sarah steps in to try and help Nora win her man, but after a glass or two of Luc's mom's absinthe tea, Nora is too sloshed to care. Then the absinthe breaks down Nora's boundaries and she tries to plant one on Dr. Carl. She misfires, but she's too drunk to care. Then the doorbell rings. Luc has come to talk to his mother. But instead of finding her willing to talk, he finds her kissing Justin. Yes, you read that right. Luc lets her have it. She cries. French people are crazy!
The next morning Carl wakes up with an absinthe hangover and a Nora-shaped hole in his heart. He has a hankering for a hunk of a Walker woman. Nora is hesitant because they are co-workers, but he pinky-swears that they will always be friends. LIES, obvs. But, still, Nora gets some smoochin', which she completely deserves.
Luc finally tells Sarah about his deep mommy issues: She left his father for another man, came back, and then left again. But Sarah shouldn't look too deeply at those mommy issues -- it's why her young pup is dating an older woman. In the end, with some randomly tossed dishes and stereotypes about the passionate French, Luc and his maman make amends. Here's hoping she shacks up with Justin!
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Lulu Bates a.k.a. Melissa Locker is wearing a beret and punching a croissant. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers.
It's just another day at the office for Justin. By office I mean, of course, the ex-alcoholic who is now employed at his brother-in-law's bar seemingly with the blessing of his whole family. Whatever! If they don't care, I won't either. Justin is hard at work in the supply closet when some girl in a short skirt and a dreadful Southern accent (seriously, she makes Kyra Sedgwick sound like an Alabama native) turns off the lights and turns up the heat. Justin mumbles something about his birthday, but we can't quite make it out because it is hard to enunciate when someone else's tongue is in your mouth. Obviously Scotty walks in two seconds later. Don't worry Justin already got to second! Scotty barfs on the floor, orders a dishwasher to clean it up and then backs out of the supply closet slowly. Once outside the closet, he remembers that he's the boss, this is vile, and man juice on the spice rack is DEFINITELY a health code violation. He barks at Justin to get back to work already. Justin kisses the girl a few more times and runs out of the closet.
Nora barrels into the kitchen at the radio station in full rant about ignorant Neanderthals, but a disembodied voice coming from behind a newspaper points out it is actually pronounced "neander-TALL", which is not at all annoying. Except, of course, that it completely is. Nora just takes it though because the snooty erudite voice is from her dreamy bohunk radio professional Carl. Swoon! He correctly guesses that Nora met the resident right wing radio jock and is displeased with his attitude. Nora listened to his show last night and it was filled with LIES, LIES, and dirty rotten LIES about all the liberal hot button issues like global warming and immigration and whether you can recycle no.2 plastics. Nora confronted him in the hallway this morning to collegially set him straight and for some reason he reacted hostilely. Nora is shocked by his behavior and refusal to see the correct way of thinking, as only someone so solipsistic about their own beliefs can be. Then the right-winger called her show Call Madame Mao, which is really... not funny at all. Nora took offense, not at the terrible humor, but at the implication that she is the mouthpiece of a communist state that won't even let its dissidents receive the Nobel Peace Prize. Nora, if you don't want people to think you are a communist, don't wear red. Duh.
Carl invites Nora to sit down and take a deep breath. He has some therapizing to do. He explains that the aggravating right-winger's biggest advertisers are a home security system and a male potency pill. Clearly this means he has no penis, a small car, not nearly enough Four Loko, his mother didn't love him and Jenny Schulz wouldn't go to the junior high prom with him. As a trained psychotherapist, Carl knows that means that he and his entire audience all suffer from paranoid personality disorders with deep Freudian issues. Nora smiles. Then Carl presents her with a bill for services rendered. Then he invites her to his house for a Leonard Bernstein television show because that is how the aging liberal set roll: PBS and a bottle of California zinfandel in a reusable NPR tote bag. Nora is in, obvs. Unfortunately Carl invited her at 9:45 p.m. for a 10 p.m. show, which doesn't give a lot of time for getting saucy on the couch before the show starts up.
Nora calls Kevin to help her parse the relationship. Kevin, being the resident family gay, has seen every episode of Sex and the City and knows the signs of He's Just Not That Into You. But Nora thinks that psychotherapists are just used to booking things in 45 minute increments, which is ALMOST funny, but mostly sad. Kevin points out that she loves her job and enjoys Carl's friendship, so maybe she should not screw it up by becoming the office whore. Nora is pretty sure that Carl is the dreamiest guy she has ever seen and wants to love him and squeeze him and hold him and keep him and call him George. Kevin tries to get her to call Sarah, because the ladies? They are a mystery to him. Nora won't do it though, because if Sarah buys her radio station then she will be both of their bosses and Nora doesn't want to get in trouble for an interoffice romance or make the company liable for a sexual harassment suit when she corners Carl in the supply closet and forces her tongue down his throat. What? She learned it by watching Justin.
Kevin hangs up, because: GROSS. Also, he is mysteriously working as the lunch host at Scotty's restaurant because despite frequently complaining about having way too much legal work to do, he just wants to be a lunch host. It's a personal dream. No judgment. Justin introduces Kevin to his latest conquest, who is not the same girl he was tonguing in the storage closet. He is so getting herpes.
Sarah just happened to be scrolling through all the previous calls on the caller ID. Not because she is paranoid at all! Luc loves her! She is an attractive older woman with a lot to offer! She has BANGS! Sarah confronts Luc about a name she found: Gabriella Laurent. Who's the slut, Luc? Who's the slut? Luc glowers that it's his mother and she wants to come visit. But she cannot visit. She is not a part of his life and he wants it to stay that way. Sarah pouts that maybe she wants to meet the woman who birthed such a hunk of a man, but Luc declares, "NON!" He wasn't very nice about it, but Sarah just shrugs and goes to answer the phone.
It's her mother who is "just checking" to see if Sarah listened to her show this morning, no pressure, just checking, everyday to see if Sarah loves her. Sarah didn't listen and Nora chides her not as a mother but as a potential employee. If Sarah wants to buy the company she should listen to the shows. Sarah rolls her eyes and says she is meeting with the station manager later. Yeah, I'm sure Rupert Murdoch meets with the station manager of every radio station in every media company he buys. Nora pauses then asks Sarah to ask the station manager if there is a policy on workplace romances. Um, suave, Nora. Sarah snorts in laughter, but has to go and answer the door.
A woman in sunglasses and slicked back hair stands on the doorstep. Is it an aging Robert Palmer girl doing package delivery to make ends meet? No, it's Luc's mom. Played by Sonia Braga!! [Editor's Note: And wearing Sonia Braga's brand new face! -- Mindy] Luc and his mother are shrieking at each other en francais because the French are wild and passionate people unconcerned about screaming at the top of their lungs in front a freaked out American. Sarah begs them to take a chill pill because this is California, man, but the French will not be contained. They yell some more and then Luc's mother drags Sarah into it saying that as a mother, Sarah must understand the burning insatiable desire to wear silk scarves, impossibly red lipstick, and see her children. Sarah nods warily as Luc glares. Gabriella declares that she has booked a room at a hotel. Sarah begs her to stay with them, despite Luc's evil eye, but Gabriella refuses to distract her genius son from his work and insists on staying at the hotel. Screw love, passive aggressiveness is the true universal language. Luc grabs her bags and chucks them on the porch, but Sarah insists on taking her new favorite soon-to-be mother-in-law to meet her own mother at the radio station. Luc is SO withholding sex tonight.
At the restaurant, it's the middle of the lunch rush when Kevin and Scotty discover the extent of Justin's sluttiness. He made out with two different staff members in two different parts of the restaurant on the same day. There's no way the two girls who work in extremely close proximity to each other will ever find out, right?? Right. Yeah that would never happen. Scotty is not amused. Well, maybe a little.
At the radio station, Nora and Gabriella are engaging in some hardcore parental bonding. Gabriella knows that Luc does not approve of her life choices, but she is here to hopefully improve their relationship and give Luc and Sarah her blessing