Welcome back to Brothers and Sisters! It's been a long Walker-less summer that I spent doing nothing but skin brightening masks and pruning my Tommy Walker topiary. I was inspired to make a Tommy hedge because of his desire to remake himself. And if you're going to remake yourself, you may as well do it in bush form. Also, his hair has always reminded me of shrubbery. Like he made some sort of pact with Beelzebub that he would be famous despite the lack of any particular talent and the Devil agreed but in exchange his hair would always look like a shrub. No, he didn't want his soul, because really, would you want to hang out with Tommy for all eternity? No, you would not. Okay, okay, I know what you guys are thinking: I stole this plot line from Supernatural. The one where Sam get to come back to life so long as Dean promises never to unpucker his lips. But in truth, they stole it from me! Anyway, I have a Tommy topiary and you don't. (And if you do, please send pictures.)
So how are the Walkers going to win back my love after such a dry spell? By kicking out the jams MC5 style. No, really. The show starts with a proto-punk shriek of "Let's Start the Show!" like the soundtrack guy has been listening to nothing but the Jesus Lizard all summer and somehow convinced the editors that starting the show with some HR-esque shriek would totally connect the kids of today with the fuddy-duddy hijinks of the Walkers. And pairing that literal punk shout-out with the image of Justin and Rebecca in a sporty Honda zipping down the road would just remind everyone that Justin and Rebecca are young and in love but mostly young and ready to settle down but also having doubts because they are young and it is sunny and sometimes you just want to go for a ride and kick off the shackles of responsibility and play some body slammin' tunes. The young couple is heading out on a picnic, which is as Rebecca points out, also her ring's first picnic. Justin smirks and the camera pops out of the car to show them driving down the road and then in that one instant where the camera is watching the car then pans to another car and that other car might be going too fast and then we see a stop sign and then we all know: the Walkers are going to win back our love and affection by killing Justin and Rebecca!
48 hours earlier, Nora had a sense of foreboding. Despite her furrowed brow clearly saying: THIS IS NOT TO BE SCOFFED AT, SAUL. Saul scoffs anyway, but gently. He reminds her that Holly is throwing the engagement party and all she has to do is show up. Nora glares at him, sticks out her tongue and replies, 'I don't show up, I grow up, and when I think of Holly I throw up.' Nora is mature like that. But she knows (KNOWS) that something is wrong with one of her kids, but she just can't narrow down that maternal instinct to know which kid is at risk. This is an argument for only having one kid. When your maternal instinct kicks in you know who is about to smashed to smithereens by a recklessly Twittering Prius driver. Saul puts on his Dear Abby face (but luckily not the wig and pearls this time) and reminds Nora that her youngest son is getting married to the daughter of her arch-nemesis and this might be stressful what with the quasi-incestual beginning (and, yes, Mackenzie Phillips, thank you for putting the face on consensual incest that is a cause that really needed a spokesmodel). Nora balks that Holly is not her arch-nemesis, because she is not a superhero and thus does not deserve an arch-nemesis until she learns to be a fish telepath or cut people's heads open with her finger and animosity. Saul points out that she and Holly are going to have grandchildren together, which does nothing for Nora's mood. Saul asks whether it's their mother's impending visit, which also does nothing for Nora's mood. Nora knows one of her kids is coming to a calamitous end. Saul runs through the Walker litany: Sarah is dating; Tommy is getting help (from the silent yoga cult); Kevin and Scotty are awesome; Kitty and The Senator are in counseling; Justin is getting married and going to be a DOCTOR. See, all good? Nora can't let herself be happy and Saul can't recognize that this is congenital.













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