Brothers and Sisters

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The New Age Headache
e other times she has helped Kitty get dressed for dances and then she is positively hooting as she remembers a shoulder-pads-as-breast-implants experience and Kitty is laughing too, but then she stops laughing, gets very serious and banishes all the negative fake-boob vibes out of her mind. Too much negativity! Kitty claims she doesn't remember anything about middle school dances except getting ready for them with Sarah. At that, Sarah, who had been looking very annoyed at Kitty for thinking laughter was negative, softens and smiles and gives Kitty a big hug. She hopes that when Kitty's cancer has packed up and hit the road, all Kitty will remember is getting ready for this benefit with her. Awww. Sniff sniff. Kitty asks if Sarah wants to do facials like old times. Sarah has never turned down a chance to get goop on her face and ew...but I'll alert Luc. Nora breaks up the party and is greeted with Kitty's cold bony shoulder. Nora follows Sarah downstairs while she makes mud masks to find out the latest. Sarah is totally faking it for Kitty's sake, but Nora, after her heart-to-heart with Dr. Motorcycle, is feeling a little more open-minded. But Sarah reminds her of how stupid it is to give up chemo and they start bitching again. Obviously while they are discussing Kitty's descent into the Cult of Oprah with her-positivity-can-cure-cancer mantra, Kitty walks in and overhears their real opinions. As this happens at least once every single episode, I am not surprised, but I am a little disheartened that the Walkers are much more thick-headed than I had ever realized. Also, hard of hearing. While Kitty is certainly thin as a dime, she must make some noise as she descends the stairs and approaches the kitchen. And if you are talking about someone, don't you sort of keep an ear out just in case? Kitty accuses them of laughing at her and talking about her behind her back and they swear they weren't! But they totally were. Kitty is shaking with anger and negativity and that makes her even more angry. She tears up and begs them just to leave her alone in her hamster ball of positive energy.

The Senator cleans up well. Not that he's ever dirty (unless you want him to be or his character in his latest epic for Lifetime requires it). He is sitting in his tuxedo reading a book with Evan waiting for Kitty. Kitty comes in and just watches them for a while a little wistfully. Her dress is beautiful: pink on top and burgundy on bottom, very detailed wrapping. Vast improvement from her vintage tomato look. The Senator finally notices her and smiles sweetly at her. She settles across from them and The Senator asks if she wants to go tonight. She does, even though she is hurt and annoyed that they called him. The Senator won't reveal who made the call (he's too smart to burn a source), but wants her to know that there will be no drama tonight because he has her back. I love seeing these two all gooey and sweet with each other, but Seriously, Senator? You will actually say there will be no drama and, like, not KNOCK ON WOOD or anything? Are you insane? Or do you just have a hero fetish and want to save Kitty from the giant anvil of foreshadowing that you just unleashed? Good grief.

Over at a very large hotel, which is probably very famous, but I haven't dared to set foot in Los Angeles since Andy Dick licked my ear (true story!) and am thus unfamiliar with the landmarks, Scotty and Kevin go to meet Scotty's dad. Scotty is recounting how nice it is to get reacquainted with his dad without his mother's oppressive presence when Kevin spots Wally talking to a hot blonde. Kevin surveys their interaction and announces that OMG they are sleeping together. His dad was a noted philanderer and he knows everything about the subject. Scotty's, like, say wha? And then Wally catches them playing I Spy and he bids farewell to the blonde and says hello to the boys. They are apparently skipping Nora's annual benefit in order to take Wally out for steaks. I have a hard time believing that Nora would just accept Scotty and Kevin bailing on the function. Haven't we seen scenes of her demanding the presence of all her children at everything from Easter egg rolls to a third-cousin's briss to Pasadena's annual real estate festival, so we're supposed to believe that BOTH Scotty AND Kevin can be usurped by Wally's unplanned visit? I think not. Kevin gets a text that sends him into paroxysms of panic: The Senator's meltdown was caught on video and is now on the YouTube. Oh noes! Quick make another Funny Cat video or Drunk Guy Getting Drunker so no one will notice one Republican Senator skewering another. Besides, I thought going viral was every Senator's dream? And have y'all seen Rep. Barney Frank yelling at that townhall teabagger? Awesomeness in a funny looking package. The Senator should be thrilled by this turn of events. And Kevin, as his communications manager, should be too.

Nora has done a lovely job with her event and all the white people are dressed in their finest black tie attire. Kitty realizes that these events used to make her very tense, but now that she is free as a bird she is almost enjoying it. Well, she was until Nora came and tried to talk to her. Kitty makes a quick exit for the bar leaving The Senator to make her apologies to Nora. He thinks Kitty is just feeling vulnerable about her stupidity and pig headedness. Nora smiles bleakly as The Senator leaves her to follow Kitty. Nora doesn't have long to pout though, because Dr. Motorcycle swoops in and charms her by letting her bore him with more adorable stories of her pesky kids. He also gets her a glass of wine, which is clearly the way to any Walker's heart. Justin and Rebecca survey the scene. Does Nora know this man? Is Nora dating this man? Justin is about to go tackle him for disrespecting his mother when a plate of shrimp goes by and -- ooh shrimp! Rebecca, however, thinks it smells funny and passes. Oh Rebecca, the shrimp smells funny? Really? OH MY GOD. She is obviously pregnant and Dr. Justin is too busy diagnosing rickets to realize that he forgot to wear a Trojan about two months ago. I really hate it when television shows (and movies, too) use these clich├ęd shortcuts to telling a story. Like, sure, in real life, some pregnant women find shrimp abhorrent, but on television EVERY SINGLE ONE DOES. And this is ALWAYS the way people reveal their knocked up status. It's just lazy. When I was pregnant, I lost my sweet tooth, but that would not make compelling television. So Rebecca wants to ralph at the thought of shrimp. We get it. Nora introduces Dr. Motorcycle to Justin and Rebecca from a distance and everyone smiles and waves. Dr. Motorcycle wants to know when Nora will go on a second date with him. Nora is shocked that he considered that impromptu motorcycle ride a date. There were no flowers, no dancing, he didn't come in and meet her dad, nothing! He swears it was a date and wants to do it again, but he won't take no for an answer until Nora drinks at least one glass of wine. As soon as he leaves, Justin and Rebecca pounce. Justin listens intently trying to figure out whether he needs to cut a guy. Nora brushes it off as just a little motorcycle ride and Justin's and Rebecca's jaws drop. And I will admit the idea of Nora on the back of a hog is pretty hard to picture. Sarah interrupts the tsunami of teasing headed Nora's way because she wants to talk about Kitty and the cold shoulder, which would kind of be an awesome band name. Nora sighs and repeats what Dr. Motorcycle told her during their date, that Kitty just needs to go through this thing and they should let her. But if Kitty won't talk to Sarah or her mom, why the heck did she come to the benefit? Inquiring minds want to know!

Over at the hotel bar, Scotty and his dad toss back a few before dinner. But when Wally forgets his wallet in his room and gets all squirrelly about letti

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Brothers and Sisters




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