Brothers and Sisters

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Kiss the Bottle
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Rebecca has finally accepted that she is pregnant and is now calculating her due date. The second she figures out that her bouncing baby Walker will be arriving around July 11 she calls Justin. She still hasn't told him about their impending child, and now he's in the middle of midterms, so she can't bug him now, right? Okay, I have one question: WHY IS REBECCA SO STUPID? Just tell him already! He'll be thrilled and you will be one hair less annoying. Not telling him about this is some strange and off-putting type of martyrdom that I for one don't enjoy watching. Like, oh I don't want to bother Justin with this little thing right now. SHUT UP AND TELL HIM. I have a really ancient television, but I understand that on some of the fancy new models you can reach through and throttle someone. Will someone else please do that? Thank you. Anyway, Rebecca asks Justin to call her back. Which I guess is the first step.

Scotty and Kevin are huddled over their computer excited at the prospect of picking their egg donor. Scotty giddily remarks that this picking their baby mama online is so strange for him, because he never even hooked up with somebody online! Kevin scoffs and then quietly agrees, but Scotty's not that dim and Kevin finally confesses to maybe hooking up with somebody like once maybe. My thought is that Scotty is super hot and never needed to use online dating to find a tasty morsel, unlike, say, Kevin. Scotty rolls his eyes and they get back to the matter at hand. They count down and click the mouse and...the screen fills up with well over a 100 women dying to donate their eggs. Kevin and Scotty are stunned, but I am not. Egg donors get paid A LOT of money, at least according to the advertisements at the movie theater, and in this economy you know that is tempting. Although you do have to fill out a lot of forms . Also, you have to be willing to do this to yourself, frequently, which I am not. And there is something called "egg harvesting" but disappointingly I couldn't find a YouTube video of it. (#InternetFAIL) Scotty and Kevin just can't seem to whittle down the donors. In fact, the only criteria they can agree on is that maybe the donor should be tall. Everything else is completely open and subject to Kevin's notion of "the best". Scotty doesn't look hopeful.

Sarah sits in Nora's kitchen while she does a five minute infomercial on the benefits of Latisse. Apparently Nora has a proven medical need for thicker lashes, pretty much the same way that older men have a medical condition for which they require Viagra. Sarah is truly impressed that Nora likes this guy so much, but Nora resists that labeling. She's just had a few meals with him and nothing more. He's twenty years younger than her and she thinks his interest in her is verging on the fetishistic. Sarah rolls her eyes and then picks up an American flag, hums a full stanza of "The Star-Spangled Banner" and then launches into a rant about how Luc doesn't have a Social Security card. She obviously hasn't spent enough time in France, because she thinks that doing laundry, going to the market, and spending time at the gym seems unambitious for the day. Nora reminds her that Luc is not Joe, but before she can elaborate and explain the actual differences between the two, Sarah's phone rings. It's Saul. Work beckons!

Jane, the new and hitherto unknown chairman of the Ojai Board, can not believe that they aren't entering any of Walker Landing's fine products into the upcoming wine festival. It's such a wonderful opportunity for brand exposure blah blah blah fishcakes. Quit boring me with business talk and get to the dramas! After turning the thumbscrews on Holly, the team decides to taste the new cheap wine, which they are calling "Coastal Reserve". Doesn't that have the ring of a screwtop varietal? Holly protests that the wine isn't ready and they should hold off until next quarter, but Jane insists the company needs saving now. So they all troop to pay homage to the giant metal wine casks and Saul pours himself a draught. They all toast and sip, except Rebecca who is knocked up. I'm half expecting someone to notice that she doesn't swill it and call her out on it, but we are spared that pregnancy-outing cliché. Saul takes the first sip. Everyone waits for his tortured gag, but surprisingly, he loves it. He thinks it has a depth of flavor and interesting undertones and it should totally be entered in the wine festival. Saul actually thinks it should even compete in the table wine class at tomorrow's festival. Everyone chokes on their sips and then they start scampering to get production underway. Sarah's job is to convince Luc to design the label. Ryan's job is to look twitchy. Obviously.

OMG. For some reason (probably because of Glee's popularity), Kitty has decided that her new wig should look exactly like Sue Sylvester's hair, except in a far more unflattering color. This is unflattering. Also, unsettling. What is even more unsettling is that The Senator likes it. He really, really likes it. He starts pulling his finest Gomez Addams impersonation and kissing her all over, despite the fact that he has a flight to catch.

Sarah isn't having nearly as much fun as her sister. She is watching her handsome au pair fold laundry and try to convince Monsieur Artiste that a wine label is just a tiny painting. He is not amused or falling for it. He doesn't need the money and he doesn't need the work and he doesn't want to apply for a visa, he just wants to fold Sarah's laundry and take her kids to soccer practice. Is that too much to ask? Sarah whines and he finally consents to do the label, but he is doing it for her, not for him or his career. Sarah looks annoyed, but then he hands her a plate of SHUT THE HELL UP and she does.

Nora and the doctor that she is not dating are dining at a restaurant called Hazumi, and gesundheit. Nora and her luscious lashes lead off the lunch by asking the doctor to take a little looksie at Kitty's test results. He obliges and then she realizes how annoying it must be for doctors to always be offering free medical opinions. Like, make an appointment already, Nora! Well, maybe she'll foot the lunch bill. Nora suggests that their next non-date should be a motorcycle ride up the Pacific Coast Highway to an intimate and secluded lunch spot. The doctor is all aboard, but when Nora mentions the boring old wine festival, he really wants to go there instead. No, doc, trust me, you don't want to go to there. When Nora swears it will just be a big boring work party, he pouts. No, really, he does. He doesn't think Nora will take him to the super funtastic Wine Festival because she is embarrassed by his youth and success. Nora snorts, and then agrees to let him come. C'mon doctor, I thought you were smart! But smart people avoid being around the Walkers when they get their wine on. Bad idea, doctor, bad idea! He agrees to go. Chucklehead.

Know who is not going to be a doctor any time soon? Justin. He's too dim-witted to realize that the spinal cord runs through the abdomen and the thorax and therefore in fact will be included on the exam. Justin groans in dismay, but not nearly as loudly as his Urkel-esque lab partner. Or as loudly as everyone in the study hall when his cell phone rings. Instead of politely silencing it, or stepping outside to answer it, nitwit Justin sits in the middle of the room and yells at Rebecca to stop bugging him because he is busy. She asks if maybe he can step outside and call her back, but no, he can't. He hangs up on her. Wow, Justin was such a dick I am actually starting to feel sympathetic towards Rebecca. What is this show doing to me???

Kitty is staring at herself in the mirror practicing saying, "And that's how Sue Cs it" and twirling her whistle while talking to Nora on the phone. Kitty hopes Sarah won't be mad that she isn't going to the wine festival, but Nora thinks she has a good excu

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Brothers and Sisters

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