Back from commercials, we return to Castroville and The Unprofessional Chronicles starring Kitty Walker. Alice Webb, McCallister's high-school sweetheart, is reminiscing to the camera about how "principled" she always considered McCallister, and how she heard about the helicopter rescue on TV and "that's when I knew he was brave, too." A mischievous flute lets us know that Kitty isn't trying to hear that; she presses Alice on whether finding out her high-school boyfriend was a war hero was strange. Strange, but not surprising, Alice says, and calls him "Bobby." "'Bobby,'" Kitty repeats. "That's cute." Then she asks about their relationship, which Alice describes as pretty standard -- she wore his varsity jacket, school dances, blah blah. Kitty wants to know if they had any differences, or arguments, or fights, or big fights. Alice doesn't take the bait. Kitty, only momentarily distracted by the sight of a person in an artichoke mascot outfit harassing Sarah just outside, won't drop the subject, saying that Alice and McCallister must have split up for a reason; Alice gives the standard causes of a high-school romance ending -- going to different colleges, et cetera -- so Kitty tries the "well, we both know how guys are" angle instead, trying to get Alice to say McCallister was grabby: "I bet he was." Alice, baffled: "Don't you work for him?" If this were real life, she wouldn't for very long after this donnybrook, but Kitty is unconcerned by trifles like doing her job, or the fact that getting jealous of the high-school GF of a man in his forties is ridiculous, or the "don't shit where you eat" concept, and is just launching into a rant about how nobody is that perfect, "not even Mr. McSainthood," when Sarah sees what's going on and yanks her aside. "Tell it to the writers, even the audience is kind of over McCallister's flawlessness," Sarah says. Oh, wait. A different Sarah said that -- Sarah Walker says that it's a puff piece, Kitty's getting out of hand, and as a result they will be proceeding to the nearest bar and closing it down. Kitty whinges that all the bars are probably closed. Sarah tells her not to say that, "not even as a joke," and walks out of frame as Alice squirms in the background.
Walker Compound. In a nicely framed shot, Rebecca stands on the stairs, studying all the family pictures hung beside the staircase. Her face is impassive. Nora comes upon her and asks, happily and cautiously, "Rebecca?" Rebecca rambles through an awkward explanation of how she's waiting for Justin, and Nora says that they're "just pictures"; it's not like she caught Rebecca going through her underwear drawer. Rebecca comments that, looking at the pictures, she was thinking, "But they look so normal." "I think we are pretty normal, given the circumstances," Nora says. Rebecca disagrees, reminding Nora of the hair-yoinking, and the irony of Kevin wanting to run a DNA test given that nobody knows whose DNA Tommy's baby has. "'Tommy'? Who's that?" Exactly, dear reader. Anyway, Nora's like, touchÃ©. Rebecca thinks it explains a lot -- all the "weirdness" and "drama" in her life could be genetic, right? Nora points out that Rebecca inherited more than drama. Yeah, Rebecca says cynically, the trust fund, but that isn't what Nora meant; Rebecca also got a big family, "William's family." Rebecca smirks sadly and looks down. "Is that all right?" Rebecca, her eyes shifting nervously, says it's "fine," which prompts Nora to ask if Rebecca ever asked about her father. "My mother said he was a film director," Rebecca says, as if that explains everything, which to certain L.A. kids it probably does. Nora wants to know what Holly -- er, Rebecca's mother told Rebecca about why he left. Holly said she never told him she was pregnant. Nora looks stricken: "Oh." Rebecca considers, then says she thinks William knew: "He gave me a doll once. He was, you know. Around." That's sad for her, the way she says it, and it's sad for Nora, who looks sad; Rebecca bites her lip and apologizes. After another fraught pause, Rebecca says she'd "still like to know. Who my father was." "Of course you would," Nora says, and tells Rebecca all of William's positive qualities -- smart, good father, and so on -- as well as that he had a twenty-year affair and embezzled money and everything else we already know, "and that's the whole truth." She's about to say more when Justin enters and orders her to "step away from the offspring," which is sort of a weird thing to say given the situation, but Nora seems not to mind: "It's okay, we were just talking." She and Rebecca say goodbye to each other, and Nora watches her go and looks hopeful.