Sarah wants to sell her li'l bit of real estate heaven, but Luc isn’t so sure. This does not stop Sarah from hiring a realtor and getting a buyer the very next day. The day of Luc's big gallery opening! She is in the middle of staging his studio when he returns and, boy, does she have some 'splainin to do. She threw away his lucky cup, for crying out loud! But she doesn't really get why he is mad. At Luc's big art opening, he is still not talking to Sarah. Then it turns out Luc is just mad that Sarah listed the house for sale without talking to him first. Oh is that all? Sheesh, Luc sure is sensitive! So they don't sell the house. What a great storyline!
Scotty's and Kevin's ex-surrogate, Michelle, is back in town and acting crazier than ever. Her behavior is erratic at best, and Scotty is concerned, but covers it up for Olivia's sake. But Olivia overhears Kevin and Scotty talking about how they wanted a baby with Michelle, and she gets the sads. Don't worry, it only takes five seconds of reassurance and all is well. In fact, Olivia wants them to go find out what's wrong with Michelle. She's the bestest little human ever, right? So Scotty and Kevin decide to leave the house in the early morning to go troll the airport looking for Michelle. And, naturally, she is toting a baby. Spawn of Scotty? Maybe.
Nora and Brody are officially dating, but Justin thinks Brody is hiding something. Whatever it is he is hiding, it's not in his RV. Nora knows this because he kidnaps her to Fresno and invites her to come live with him there. Then Justin's paramedic partner hacks into Brody's medical records and finds… something. Justin realizes that Brody lied about his blood type, and he could actually be Sarah's father! Thought that horse was dead, did ya? The potential de-Walkering of a child is the life blood of this show! Why give up the drama when you can drag it out for five seasons? So Brody explains that William also had a B blood type, but since he and Nora were already married, Brody agreed to lie and say he had type O blood. Justin cannot believe that Brody lied 40+ years ago! He is so totally going to hold him accountable now. He wants to know why Brody came back, and Brody has to remind him that Sarah sought him out and he loves Nora and thinks they have a shot at happiness. Justin thinks Nora's happiness is less important than her knowing what may or may not be the truth. Before Brody can tell her anything, she decides she wants to move to Fresno with him. But he sneaks out in the middle of the night. Of course, he swings by Justin's to explain himself and attempt to rationalize his decision. Also to beg Justin to never, ever tell. Nora wakes up to a note and whole bunch of heartbreak.
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Melissa Locker a.k.a. Lulu Bates thinks these paternity issues are so OVER. You can follow her on Twitter @woolyknickers
Welcome back to Walkerlandia where the women can hold their liquor and the men are proud of it (except Justin, natch). As you may recall, last week Justin turned 30 and Grandma Ida died. Don't worry if you missed it, they won't mention any of that this week. Sarah is yakkity yakking on the phone with Kitty who is still off somewhere with Seth. She missed her grandmother's funeral and is now poised to miss Luc's first solo opening, so she must be visiting somewhere incredibly difficult to leave like Mongolia or darkest Peru or, you know, in Boston with Seth. Maybe in the weird Walkerlandia wormhole Boston has been turned into an Escape from New York-style prison and Kitty and Seth are, like, swapping BJs and B-list body parts (spare kidneys, appendix, liver bits) for chainsaws in a desperate bid to escape. Seth would probably look pretty good in an eye patch and leather vest; Kitty not so much.
Anyway, while Sarah is chatting, Luc is staring intently at one of his pictures (an abstract nude, no nippage so it's safe for primetime) and talking to himself about whether he should display it and risk having it sell or just keeping it all to himself. He strokes it a few times and I get skeeved and go pay attention to Sarah for a while. She is telling Kitty that she talked to a realtor and it becomes apparent that she is interested in selling her house. Luc moans a little and Sarah hangs up on Kitty to go see what her tortured artiste needs. He doesn't actually need anything, but he was curious as to exactly what the hell Sarah was talking about when she said she'd contacted a realtor. Sarah happily prattles about how great the realtor is and how she deserves her own reality show. Luc doesn't really care about the realtor's star power, he is more interested in this idea that Sarah was going to sell the house without talking to him about it. Sometimes Sarah is so incredibly dense. I mean, we can all see where this story line is going, right? Sarah will sort of la di da the whole thing and sell the house and Luc will have a hissyfit and call their relationship into question and then Sarah will cancel the sale and apologize a whole bunch and we will all be left wondering what exactly it is Luc sees in Sarah. But, let's just let this play out, eh? What else do we have to do with our Sunday evenings?
So Luc tells Sarah that he is not really interested in selling the house. He thinks the market is bad and that they don't need to move. Sarah pays him no mind and says something about business doing well and the impending adolescence of Paige and Cooper and how they will need more space to get away form their annoying parents. Then Sarah remembers something she learned in the mean streets of Wharton: Close the sale with a compliment. So she reminds Luc that he is an up-and-coming artist with a lot of money-making potential. Luc is about to have a few more words about this, but his phone rings. It's the Times and they want to profile him! Sarah pats him on the back and leaves him to his work, knowing she is right. Also, so so wrong.
Over at Walker Manor, Kevin and Justin are wasting a perfectly good evening playing games with Nora and Brody. How is Justin ever going to find the woman of his dreams, let alone have that threesome from his Things To Do Before I Turn 30 List, if he spends all his damn time hanging out at his mom's house? I mean, sure he met Rebecca there, but that was pretty unusual circumstances. While I would say it could never happen again, the way this show tries to de-Walker people during every season finale I simply can't say it definitively.
Anyway, Nora and Brody are using their new couple status to destroy Kevin and Justin at the game that I think is a homespun version of 10,000 Pyramid, but without the celebrities or the cash payout. Anyway, Justin and Kevin start saying wildly inappropriate things in a feeble attempt to undermine the competition. Also, just because they are Walkers. Justin says something hinty about his mom and Brody having sex... at least enough sex for Sarah to think she's Brody's daughter. As a decent human being, Brody excuses himself so Nora can holler at her children in peace. She reminds them about basic manners and codes of conduct and then she changes the subject. She says something about Scotty and Olivia running out for ice cream when she made a perfectly nice cake. Instead of falling for the bait, Kevin tells her it is okay if she is bedding down with Brody, because it is clear that Brody loves her. Nora pauses and gets all young girly and giggly, really? How do you know? And instead of breaking into Whitney Houston's epic "How Will I Know?" like any self-respecting gay man, Kevin just says he can tell. Nora thinks about that.