Brothers and Sisters

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Zen and Walkers Don't Mix
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Sarah trundles her kids off to school with clean clothes, packed lunches, and lots of love and kisses, but the second they are out the door, Sarah runs to the back door and into the arms of her French paramour, Luc. I am pretty sure there is a "back door mama" joke in their somewhere, but what with Rachel Griffiths being on the cover of Cookie Magazine this month with her new baby, I just can't bring myself to make it. But have it, you dirty fiends! Luc asks her when she is planning on telling her children that he isn't Nora's French exchange student, but Sarah is hesitant. I can't really blame her either. How do you explain to your children that a Frenchman that you only knew for a few short weeks has come to California uninvited to date you in a noncommittal sort of way? It seems hard to work into the conversation. Sarah brushes it off as cultural differences. As in the French are laissez faire, I mean, look at Mitterand -- he told his children about his American mistress that he met at the Miss Goth pageant after the first date AND deregulated the banking system. Or so rumor has it anyway. Americans, however, are uptight. Have you seen Mormon underwear? Also, bidets. In the head of the average American no one would ever need such a dirty, dirty device. We are all built like Ken dolls. And not Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken, either. Even though Luc just got there, Sarah has to leave for work tout suite or she will have no choice but to fire herself. She points out that she has been AWOL for weeks, which I think is nice, because SHE HAS BEEN AWOL FOR WEEKS and most people would be out on their fat American bum by now especially in this economy. Does she not know about the economy?? Does she not know that unemployment is over 10%? I'm sure there are approximately 16 million Americans who would be happy to take over her job so she can stay home and schtup. Hmm. Schtup sounds German. Maybe making sweet, sweet love is more appropriate? Anyway. When Luc presents her with his croque monsieur, Sarah ends up being late for work one more time. Score one for the laissez-faire!

Holly is going through her paperwork angrily reiterating the fact that she is broke. You know, Holly you should probably save all that paper for when you get really destitute and have to live on the mean streets of Pasadena and need to make a blanket out of scrap paper. But Holly is in no joking mood. She is wearing her glasses, so you know she is taking this thing seriously. So when David suggests that she consider selling her shares in Ojai, Holly snaps at him. She sticks her fingers in her ears because she is not hearing that. Does she know how much old man butt she had to see in order to get that stock in the first place? If she sells her shares now, when stocks are down, she will have put up with nasty old William and his wandering penis for nothing. Holly admits that she has been considering selling, but wants to start shilling her cheap wine first in order to prop up the stocks and then she can consider selling. She doesn't want to talk about it now and she has to get ready for her meeting. Say Holly, if you are so busy, why did you bring your boyfriend to work with you? Doesn't he have guitars to strum elsewhere? David interrupts her again just to let her know that he doesn't just love her for her money. It must be for her delightful and sunny attitude then.

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Brothers and Sisters

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