Sarah remembers she has a job, but not for long. She's too busy juggling family and Frenchman obligations to do more than slap down Holly's two-buck chuck rip-off wine and then get busted by Paige frenching her Frenchie. Luckily for Sarah, Paige is actually a 42-year-old midget plotting the liberation of women and she suggests that Luc move into the guest room.
Kevin harasses his surrogate into submission, but doesn't seem to remember that, as the egg donor, her genetics don't matter. When did Scotty get to be the smart one? Hold that thought, when Kevin has a contract drawn up to seal the deal, Scotty freaks and the surrogate bolts. But once Kevin explains to Michelle all the reasons that he wants a contract (and Kevin pays for her lawyer), their surrogate is back on board.
Nora and Kitty awaken to a bump in the night. Some sort of Ghost Hunters poltergeist that triggers the silent alarm. After Luc tackles the intruder to the ground, it turns out to be Tommy. I was hoping for a haunting (and rooting for Luc). To celebrate the return, we have the first Walker family phone tree of the season. Tommy ends up with two phones and more Walkers than he can handle. His new contemplativeness, lack of humor, and beard freak everybody out. But it takes his mom to finally crack Tommy's Zen-like façade. When Nora stumbles on the truth that Tommy has been lying about his failing relationship with Julia and Elizabeth, there aren't enough koans in the world to keep his meditative sheen.
Obviously a Walker dinner party is called for, anyway, because these people never learn. Nora won't talk until she passively-aggressively spills the beans about Tommy in response to Scotty and Kevin, who can't keep their spat to themselves. Everyone is shocked (shocked!) that Tommy and Julia are getting divorced. I mean, he only embezzled from Ojai and was almost convicted of fraud and lost their house and their savings and lied to her. Why would she want to leave him? Tommy lets them (but mostly Nora) have it and abandons his hand-hewn mole as he makes a run for the border. And now I want Taco Bell.
Saul heads to Ojai after the long Walker dinner party and busts Ryan rifling through Holly's office. Saul almost has an actual conniption fit and it looks like Ryan might finally be out of our lives (and off our screens) for good. Unfortunately he spins a story that he is trying to protect Saul from some scheme of Holly's, and Saul, the old softie, falls for it. Sigh. Ryan takes Holly's personal financial records straight to Dennis York who realizes Holly's desperate straits may be an opportunity to buy into Ojai. And yet another opportunity for another Walker to try and bring down the company again. Sigh.
Tommy has only made it as far as Nora's backyard and Kitty finds him there. She has prepared a PowerPoint guilt trip complete with interactive features and a scratch-and-sniff portion. She reminds Tommy that she has CANCER and MAY DIE and not be able to be there for her son. So she finds his unwillingness to fight for Elizabeth patently offensive. She knocks him on the head and goes to change a diaper. With Kitty's encouragement and support, Tommy decides to head to Seattle and fight for Elizabeth. His new-found conviction surprises Nora. Cancer Girl for the win!
Holly is still broke, but is hoping that her plan to produce cheap wine will put her back in black. Sarah greenlights the cheap wine deal just in time for Holly to turn down a buy-out offer from Dennis York. Why do I suspect he won't take no for an answer? Sigh.
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Sarah trundles her kids off to school with clean clothes, packed lunches, and lots of love and kisses, but the second they are out the door, Sarah runs to the back door and into the arms of her French paramour, Luc. I am pretty sure there is a "back door mama" joke in their somewhere, but what with Rachel Griffiths being on the cover of Cookie Magazine this month with her new baby, I just can't bring myself to make it. But have it, you dirty fiends! Luc asks her when she is planning on telling her children that he isn't Nora's French exchange student, but Sarah is hesitant. I can't really blame her either. How do you explain to your children that a Frenchman that you only knew for a few short weeks has come to California uninvited to date you in a noncommittal sort of way? It seems hard to work into the conversation. Sarah brushes it off as cultural differences. As in the French are laissez faire, I mean, look at Mitterand -- he told his children about his American mistress that he met at the Miss Goth pageant after the first date AND deregulated the banking system. Or so rumor has it anyway. Americans, however, are uptight. Have you seen Mormon underwear? Also, bidets. In the head of the average American no one would ever need such a dirty, dirty device. We are all built like Ken dolls. And not Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken, either. Even though Luc just got there, Sarah has to leave for work tout suite or she will have no choice but to fire herself. She points out that she has been AWOL for weeks, which I think is nice, because SHE HAS BEEN AWOL FOR WEEKS and most people would be out on their fat American bum by now especially in this economy. Does she not know about the economy?? Does she not know that unemployment is over 10%? I'm sure there are approximately 16 million Americans who would be happy to take over her job so she can stay home and schtup. Hmm. Schtup sounds German. Maybe making sweet, sweet love is more appropriate? Anyway. When Luc presents her with his croque monsieur, Sarah ends up being late for work one more time. Score one for the laissez-faire!
Holly is going through her paperwork angrily reiterating the fact that she is broke. You know, Holly you should probably save all that paper for when you get really destitute and have to live on the mean streets of Pasadena and need to make a blanket out of scrap paper. But Holly is in no joking mood. She is wearing her glasses, so you know she is taking this thing seriously. So when David suggests that she consider selling her shares in Ojai, Holly snaps at him. She sticks her fingers in her ears because she is not hearing that. Does she know how much old man butt she had to see in order to get that stock in the first place? If she sells her shares now, when stocks are down, she will have put up with nasty old William and his wandering penis for nothing. Holly admits that she has been considering selling, but wants to start shilling her cheap wine first in order to prop up the stocks and then she can consider selling. She doesn't want to talk about it now and she has to get ready for her meeting. Say Holly, if you are so busy, why did you bring your boyfriend to work with you? Doesn't he have guitars to strum elsewhere? David interrupts her again just to let her know that he doesn't just love her for her money. It must be for her delightful and sunny attitude then.
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