Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: C- | 1176 USERS: B-
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Baby Baby Oh Baby

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Tad bites the Toy Guy, and as he kills the poor old coot, the covered tray falls to the ground and is revealed to be harmless Rice Krispies treats, decorated with little pumpkins. And other than crying at Giles's departure in the premiere, the pity I feel for the Toy Guy now is the only emotion (other than boredom and ennui) that Buffy has caused in me all season. Poor Toy Guy. My jaded old heart is breaking. Tad comes out of the kitchen and claims to have merely swiped the old man's wallet. The girls run out of the house, giggling, as Zack and Tad follow. They debate whether they should eat the girls or turn them. Great. Just what the world needs -- vamp babies siring babies. It's a sad epidemic of stupidity.

At Buffy's house, Anya blathers as Xander's testicles slither even further up into his body. Babble babble. Buffy says that all that matters is the couple's happiness, and Anya rhapsodizes about having found Xander. Xander looks like his tummy hurts. I know mine does. Xander's been sitting on that fence so long he's got barbed wire coming out his nose. Xander and Buffy retire to the porch, Xander practically gasping for air after feeling his world close in on him in the living room. Buffy tries to cheerlead him into feeling good about things, obviously projecting her own longing for a quasi-normal life onto him. Xander rather unconvincingly agrees, "I'm wallowing, not drowning." He stands to go back in to the party. Buffy, however, has decided to go patrolling with Spike instead. She takes off, and Xander hangs his head and takes a deep breath before going back inside. I'm amazed he can walk at all, what with those blocks of ice encasing his feet.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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