Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Amends

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C | 5 USERS: B-
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The Sky Is Falling!

Okay, folks. Here it is. The one you've all been waiting for. No episode I've recapped so far has had as much discussion in the forums as this one. And I haven't watched it in quite some time, so I'm really not at all sure what I'm going to say. But I can't put it off any longer. Here we go.

Previouslys. Blah blah blah true-happiness-equals-loss-of-soul-cakes. Angel kills Miss Calendar. Sniff.

We open in days of yore, at night in a busy village. The caption reads, "Dublin, 1838." Wow. So that means Angel, who was sired in 1753, according to "Becoming Part One," has been haunting Ireland for almost a century. I would have thought everyone would have fled his hair a long time ago. We focus on a young man who appears distressed. He must have seen the shooting script. He hurries through the street, which is covered in fake-looking snow, and keeps looking back as though something is following him. The score, however, is not dramatic or scary, but melancholy. Dial down the string section, people. The man bumps into a few people in his haste, then is grabbed by a pair of hands and thrown into an alley. We see that the grabber is Angelus. Oh, Lord. He's vamped out, but is sporting a mustache. That just looks plain silly. And he's speaking in his "Irish accent," of course. Ace, Sep, and numerous posters have shredded David Boreanaz's "Irish accent," so I'm saved the trouble of doing it here. I'll reserve my commentary for the hair. Did you ever see that Simpsons Halloween special where Snake died and Homer got his hair? It sort of looks like that, like someone scalped someone else and put the whole mess on top of Angelus's head. Only Snake's hair gave the wearer an actual personality. With the traditional attire, the hair, the mustache, and the accent, Angelus is about as intimidating as a Teletubby. Angelus greets his victim with, "Daniel, where are you going?" Let me guess. Away from your sorry ass? Daniel, cringing in fear, gets the chess-club-brain prize of the week, saying that Angelus is "not human." I just can't get over the hair, in more ways than one. He'd look better with a raccoon on his head. Daniel asks what Angelus wants, and Angelus duhs that he's hungry. He does so without even trying for the Irish accent, which is a huge improvement. He says that Daniel owes him money from cards. I find it hard to believe that Angelus would bother with the gambling thing to choose his victims. Not when there are second-sighted virgins to drive insane. Angelus grabs Daniel and says, "I'll take me winnings me own way." With the "accent." Sigh. Daniel panickedly recites the Lord's prayer. I would have done that as soon as I saw the hair, dude. Angelus tells him to cheer up, as it's Christmas, and bites him. Now, be sure and remember that it's Christmas, because there definitely won't be any more references to it in the rest of the episode.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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