Buffy and Sam patrol a cemetery. They walk very very very slowly. I suspect that the actress playing Sam wasn't capable of walking quickly and speaking at the same time. Anyway, Sam's all hero-worshippy of Buffy, both because she's the legendary Slayer and because she's Riley's former love. Buffy seems a little interested to hear that Riley talked about her to Sam, and then we're subjected to Origins Of The Kute Kommando Kouple. Sam was a Peace Corps volunteer whose co-workers were all killed by demons. Somehow that led to her joining the Special Forces, and then to her meeting Riley. After she and Riley had been friends for awhile, he started talking to her about Buffy. Buffy sort of asks if Riley thinks Buffy let him go, and then says she wishes things had been different for them. She's a little nervous about how that sounded to Sam, but Sam assures her that there's no bad guys in the situation. Oh Sam, with your noble and gentle brow, dispensing wisdom. After Sam says, "It took him a year to get over you," Buffy replies that she's glad (he's over her), but actually looks pretty bummed. Unknowingly, Sam doesn't make things any better by chirpily asking if Buffy has a new beau. Buffy stutters about not wanting to "jump into anything" and finishes, "I don't wanna be defined by who I'm with." "Better no guy than the wrong guy," agrees Sam, but before she's even done talking, Buffy says they should split up. She tells Sam she has an informant she wants to see, but she needs to go alone. Sam's happy to run off to see Riley and clomps away, saying, "Don't worry about Ri and me. We're good." "I noticed," mopes Buffy. Oh, boo hoo.
Spike's in his crypt, reading a book by candlelight. I guess he doesn't have to worry about ruining his eyes. Buffy storms in and tells Spike she needs information. He says he'll help "if the price is right," and makes a little joke about how little money she makes working at the Doublemeat Palace. I guess that's okay, though. Using someone for sex probably doesn't entitle you to free information. I couldn't possibly even begin to understand the etiquette in this strange relationship. Buffy tells him she's looking for someone called the Doctor who deals in demon goods, but Spike has other things on his mind. Buffy's business-like demeanor seems to have gotten his dander up -- he gives her a long, lazy up-and-down look. When she tells him the Doctor is doing whatever he's doing "soon," Spike practically winks and asks, "Soon but not now?" Suddenly the tone in the room changes as Buffy softly asks, "Tell me you love me." The look on Spike's face is amazing -- he drops the flirting and looks so hopeful and happy. "I love you. You know I do," he replies. Buffy steps closer. "Tell me you want me," she continues. "I always want you," he says, and then Buffy shuts him up by pulling him over to one of the sepulchers, conveniently covered in blankets and pillows. She frantically unbuttons his shirt as her eyes search his face. Um, I feel like I've taken up writing romances, but that's what happened.