Buffy the Vampire Slayer
As You Were

Episode Report Card
admin: B- | Grade It Now!
That old spud of mine

Doublemeat. Oh god, it's that annoying Todd guy. Buffy's flippin' burgers, he's nattering on about zeitgeist. Shut UP. Well, at least he seems to be working this time. He tells Buffy that it's her turn to man the registers, and she wanders up front, mechanically reciting the traditional fast-food greeting. Surprise! Her first customer is Riley! Buffy is taken aback. I guess she's not used to seeing French fries in their unprocessed form.

Back from commercials, Buffy is dazed and somewhat confused. Riley urgently tries to tell Buffy that he's on the tail of something dangerous that's just now showed up in Sunnydale. Time is of the essence, and he needs her help. Buffy is all, "My hat has a cow." And a rooster tail, sweetie. Can you tell me what sound a rooster makes? Riley sighs and apologizes for showing up out of the blue and interrupting her at work. But then he breaks it down for her: "I need the best. I need you, Buffy." Buffy considers her options for a long moment and then finally decides that gadding about with fry guy is marginally preferable. She rips her hat off of her head, grabs her coat, and rushes out.

Streets of Sunnydale. Riley again mentions how, as soon as he gets a chance, he'd love to sit a spell and catch up with Buffy, but he's interrupted by an instrument beeping. Buffy is briefly nostalgic for Riley's gadget-loving ways while Riley expositions that the Demon With Name I Can't Bother To Look Up is so dangerous because the species breeds very quickly. Buffy characterizes them as "really mean Tribbles," which cracks me up. They're interrupted by the snarl of the DWNICBTLU. Riley rushes in waving a badge and shouting that he's with the Forestry Service here to apprehend the "wild bear." Townspeople scatter in fear; I really would have liked one of them to be all, "Wild bear? Where? Did that big honkin' demon yonder EAT IT?" Riley and Buffy make a concerted attack on the DWNICBTLU, but he throws both of them aside and then jumps over a big wall. Buffy muses, "It's too fast." "I wouldn't necessarily say that," replies Riley.

Cut to a dark SUV peeling out down a deserted road. Inside, Buffy compliments his "wheels." "Came with the car," says Riley tersely. Riley punches some data into the GPS tracking system on the dashboard. He again mentions that he's got some "big stories" to tell Buffy just as soon as all the craziness calms down. "Did you die?" asks Buffy. When Riley answers in the negative, she teases, "I'm gonna win." Riley does a double-take at this but doesn't pursue it. Apparently, Buffy's Doublemeat Palace duds aren't covert enough, so he gives her a black Kevlar vest to wear. "Boys like toys," explains Riley, in response to Buffy's look. Who is this strange self-assured Riley all ready with the quips and clipped delivery? Oh! Maybe he got a personality as his aspect of the demon? Buffy coquettishly says, "You won't look?" Riley reminds her that he's a gentleman. He gets serious for a moment, telling her how good it is to see her, and then, eyes still on the road, declares, "And Buffy? Love the hair."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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