Buffy the Vampire Slayer
As You Were

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Sep: B- | Grade It Now!
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That old spud of mine

Buffy, Sam, and Riley enter the Summers home. As Buffy apologizes for the house being a mess (it doesn't really look like one), Riley greets Dawn, who gives him a pretty icy reception. Xander and Willow come in from the kitchen and give Riley a handshake and hug, respectively. Riley tells Xander he'll love the married life, and as everyone heads into the living room, Willow pulls Buffy aside. With a darling glimmer of her former self, Willow whispers, "Just so you know -- I'm prepared to hate this woman any way you want." Buffy thanks her but doesn't want to seem petty; Willow assures her she can "carry the hate" for both of them. Aw. Dawn snottily asks Riley what brings him back to Sunnydale, getting in a dig about how he left without saying goodbye. A man on a mission, or something, Riley ignores the hostility and instead gives some extended exposition about the DWNICBTLU Buffy croaked at the dam. It's a vicious, almost unstoppable killer that breeds copiously and grows quickly. As Riley explains, he gets a little fussy that Dawn is hearing the (not so) gory details, and Sam annoys me by telling him Dawn's old enough to stay and then turning to Buffy for her permission. Whatever, Lt. McBossypants. The DWNICBTLU has already laid eggs somewhere in Sunnydale, and since Buffy was such a big loser and killed it, there's no way for Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead to find the nest. Sam graciously (or condescendingly -- your call) tells Buffy it's good she killed the demon, and then engages Xander in some wedding planning talk.

As Sam blathers about disposable cameras, Buffy sadly watches Riley fondle his wife's knee. She tries to direct the meeting back on track, and Mr. and Mrs. Potatohead reveal that, in some improbable way, they suspect that the demon eggs will be "sold on the black market." Apparently, some dealer named "the Doctor" is going to sell the eggs to foreign governments, who will be able to use the demons to decimate entire towns. This whole plot seems totally random. They were following the demon, rather than arriving ahead of it, which would possibly indicate that perhaps they didn't know where it was headed, yet they also know that someone in Sunnydale is waiting to take the eggs and sell them in an already established deal? And how does this Doctor person know where the demon laid the eggs? This whole demon egg plot sucks, well, eggs. And not just because I'm feeling let down after the brief peak in my interest when I heard mention of "the Doctor" and had a brief shining moment of hope that Joel Grey would be reprising his role as Doc. Sam puts her foot in it when she says, "Willow, you think you can help with a little locating spell?" Willow says she can't, then sulks, "I got addicted, the way addicts do." Sigh. Nice try, Will, but actually you got a bad storyline, the way characters in the sixth seasons of shows do. Willow flounces out of the room. Riley decides to send Buffy and Sam out together to look for the nest while he searches for the Doctor. Both Sam and Buffy seem pretty unsure about having to work together -- Buffy looks all pop-eyed, and Sam says she'll just slow down the Slayer. For some reason, her saying so changes Buffy's mind, and they all prepare to leave.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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