Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bad Eggs

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Yee-Haw!

Anyway, Willow breaks it to Buffy that there were an uneven number of students. Buffy, horrified: "I'm a single mother?" Hee. She goes on that this means she's doomed to live her mother's life, and I'll give Buffy a break for the all-about-me-ness of that comment, since I happen to know that every sixteen-year-old girl's worst nightmare is to turn into her mother. Ask Sars if you don't believe me. ["If I'd known I was going to turn into a deadly respiratory ailment instead, I'd never have written all those bitchy things in my diary." -- Sars] Xander says that the whole egg experiment is completely pointless, and I couldn't agree more. Giles interrupts the inanity with an exclamation that he's found a passage about Lyle Gorch, saying he's a "fellow of repute." He almost crushes Buffy's egg with the book. Hee. Giles says that Lyle and his brother Tector made their reputation by massacring a Mexican village in 1886. Buffy: "Friendly little demons." Giles gets the "punchline" that it was before they became vampires. Duh-hee, duh-hee, duh-hee. Although it amuses me greatly to think of these two meeting up with the Ingalls family. A vamped "Half-Pint"? Now that's comedy gold, people. Giles says the good news is that they're not exactly the sharpest spurs in the West, so rather than having some master plan, they're probably just there for a nice rejuvenating stay at the Hellmouth Demon Spa. Xander proposes a motion that Buffy slay the Gorches, and Willow cutely seconds it. Giles starts to urge caution, but trails off. "Why do you all have eggs?" Hee. It's all in the delivery. Willow brightly suggests that Buffy enlist Angel's help in finding the Gorches, and Giles agrees. Xander snarks that he doesn't see a lot of hunting getting done in that scenario. Buffy: "Like Angel and I are just helpless slaves to passion. Grow up!"

So what cut here would make you sit up and say, "Wow, they got me! I sure didn't see that coming!" Go on, I'll wait. Email me. Well, I got 589 responses, and not one of them was "Buffy and Angel causing the lip-mike operators to work overtime." So you can see why I'm getting a little tired of that particular "Surprise!" television convention. A couple of forced we-should-really-be hunting interjections penetrate the heavy breathing, but are immediately sucked back into the maws from whence they came. They take a couple of steps, and Buffy asks Angel if he sees anything. Upon hearing a negative, she starts up with the mack mamma stuff again. I hope her egg isn't around to see this. It's not, but the Gorch brothers are, watching from a nearby tree. Tector is just as much of a frontier stereotype as his brother. Tector asks if that's the Slayer, and calmly notes that it's "Angelus" whose face she's threatening to swallow. It seems unlikely that Tector would be able to identify him by sight -- Angel was already souled by the time the Gorch brothers became vamps, making it highly improbable to me that their paths would have crossed, and maybe they could have come across his picture in a book, but considering these two obviously didn't even get up to McGuffey's Reader, how likely is that?

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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