Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bad Eggs

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-

Buffy, dressed for bed, goes over her "daily care of egg" checklist. She bids goodnight to "Eggbert." Is that a shout-out to Scott Adams? She goes to sleep. Later, the egg starts twitching, and a feeler breaks through the shell. It simulates continental drift as it creeps toward Buffy's face. It's such a dramatic moment that we have to take a commercial break. When we come back, the thing still hasn't reached Buffy, but before I join my odious ex-boyfriend in the over-35 category, it wraps several tendrils around Buffy's face.

Boring sewer scene. Tector wants to stay someplace nice, but Lyle says they have to keep a low profile until the Slayer situation is resolved. Tector thinks Lyle's afraid of Buffy. They fight for fun. Lyle actually says, "Yippee-ki-yay." Shut up, Lyle. The only person permitted to say that is Alan Rickman.

Morning. Buffy's alarm goes off. Her egg is intact. In the kitchen, Buffy says she didn't sleep well. Joyce: "What's the matter, your egg keep you up all night?" Buffy: "You're killing me." Seconded. And -- scene! No, really.

Giles emerges from the stacks to find Buffy, Xander, and Willow. They exposit that "Teen Health" got canceled, as Mr. Whitmore didn't show up. Well, at least a she-mantis didn't show up to teach it. ["Amen." -- Sars] Buffy speaks monosyllabically, prompting Xander to snark, "Apparently Buffy has decided that the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. You. Angel. Big. Smoochies?" Hee, but Buffy's monosyllabism doesn't preclude the most tried-and-true response around: "Shut. Up." Willow's clearly just as sluggish as Buffy, and Xander speculates that it's the stress of parenting. He takes his egg out and starts tossing it around. He of course eventually drops it, leading to squeals all around, but it doesn't break. Why? He cooked it. Hee. I may need to revise my estimate of his brainpower. Willow: "You boiled your young?" Giles says that he cheated, but observes that there's a "Machiavellian ingenuity" to Xander's actions. Xander: "I resent that! Or possibly, thank you." Nope, no revision necessary. By the way, there's an egg on the bookshelf near Giles. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Cordy busts in, all up in arms about Mr. Whitmore's absence, saying that he might be dead. She's met with little enthusiasm until she wink-winks to Xander: "His body could fall out of a closet somewhere, so we should check some closets, to see if he's in...a closet." I don't know about Mr. Whitmore, but you might find Subtlety's corpse in there. Or you might just find Larry. Anyway, Xander hustles Cordy out of there before the tent gets fully pitched. Buffy wonders if she should indeed be looking for Mr. Whitmore, but Giles thinks she should conserve her energy. Another mention of Angel warns us to brace for lip-mike impact.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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