Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bad Eggs

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-

Aaaaand there it is. Blah blah it's late, blee blee Angel will hunt, blue blue egg diary. Buffy says it's pointless, as she won't have kids until she's done having a life, which cues a stilted conversation about how Angel can't have kids, and how Buffy doesn't care because all she wants is him. Given what's about to happen to their arc, this conversation seems unnecessary, and the fact that Angel is happy to accept this declaration from Buffy sort of takes some of the air out of his reasoning for breaking up with her in "The Prom," so I would have been happier if they skipped this and just exposited the vamps-can't-have-kids idea elsewhere. Or skipped that too, since it didn't even turn out to be true. He backs her against the headstone, and I've really had about enough with the smacking sounds. But at least it's not Joe Millionaire making them.

School, ostensibly late at night. A security guard makes his rounds. He finds the door to the basement open, and goes down the stairs. He finds a door with a "Keep Out" sign open, and calls inside, asking if anyone's there. Getting no response, he turns on his Mag-Lite. It's kind of...big. Hmm. Moving right along, he sees some boxes piled up that must not be supposed to be there. Unstacking them, he discovers a large hole in the wall. He peers inside, but Mr. Whitmore appears behind him and knocks him through the hole with a pickaxe. If an actor speaks and no one's there to hear it, does he get a check?

Buffy climbs in her window. She notices that her egg is twitching, and walks over to it. Twitch, twitch, twitch. Forget 35 -- I'm going to be pulling Social Security checks by the time this egg hatches. Of course, my fat ex-boyfriend will still be older than I. Hee. Anyway, the shell finally blows apart, and a rubbery, vaguely arachnid-looking thing scuttles away. Buffy's choice of weapons to fight this thing is -- an iron! Huh? That only makes sense if the only things she's allowed to pick are Monopoly pieces, and even then, it's probably not the best choice. ["I'd go with the Scottie dog in this situation, myself." -- Sars] Buffy looks under the bed, but thankfully defies horror conventions everywhere by doing so quickly. She looks around. Slowly. She rotates her position. Slowly. 180 degrees. 270 degrees. 360 degrees. I could continue, but since my point is that they should frickin' get on with it already, I won't. The Alien-esque creature drops onto her back, but she rips it off and it scuttles away. Again. Since they refuse to end this scene, I'll retaliate by going off on yet another tangent. This one is a bit more relevant, however, as it concerns the derivation of the main story. Although it loosely pays homage to both Alien and The Puppet Masters (I'm told...I've never read or seen it), it seems to me that it most closely resembles a mini-arc on Star Trek: The Next Generation that ended with the episode "Conspiracy." Of course, you could argue that the Star Trek thing is a rip-off itself, and I'm sure you'd be right. Anyhow, despite not even having the chance to use it (or maybe she's just validating my earlier point), Buffy discards the iron and picks up a pair of scissors. The thing crawls up the wall, and Buffy's super-hearing allows her to spin and stab the thing. After it falls to the floor, she stabs it several more times for good measure. In a panic, she grabs the phone and calls Willow. She answers, and Buffy tells her to break her egg. Willow says that she put hers in the refrigerator, and speculates that the Gorches planted the spider-thingy as a trap for her. Since they can't get into Buffy's house, I wonder about the logistics of that explanation, but it's good enough for Buffy, who apologizes for waking Willow and hangs up. Willow does the same, but we see that next to the cradle is her egg, hatched. I think that was a poor choice -- I would have preferred to be kept in suspense a bit longer. Willow looks at the camera all, "Willow's not here, Mrs. Torrance."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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