Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Band Candy

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 9 USERS: A
Sexy And Seventeen

Random candy factory. Some old dude surreptitiously tries to take a candy bar. That is, as surreptitiously as one can while being in close proximity to dozens of people. A voice cuts in, "Trust me" -- we see the speaker is Ethan Rayne (woo hoo!) -- "you don't want to eat that."

Dawson's Creek. Dawson punches Jack. Pure Shakespeare.

Science lab. Buffy and Cordy sit together, as do Willow and Xander. That seating arrangement seems a bit contrived. Cordy says that there's a secret rule that if the teacher doesn't show up after ten minutes, the students are allowed to leave. I don't know if that was actually true at my high school, but the students certainly believed it was. Buffy says that Giles is running study hall, and that he's "allergic to late." Cordy says that she had a philosophy book that was a year overdue, and Giles made her pay the huge fine. That's a scene I would have liked to see. She goes on that the book was perfect for starting conversations with college boys, but that that was of course "BX." Buffy realizes that that stands for "Before Xander." Aw. Although I wonder what initials she associated with him after they broke up. Speaking of the cuckolding couple, he's chomping on a candy bar as they discuss how quickly they were able to sell the candy. As they do, The Guitar Of Infidelity starts twanging on my nerves, and they play a little footsie, which, although they're in the back row, could easily be caught by just about anyone were they to glance back. Willow and Xander do have the same sneakers in different colors, though, which is cute. Cordy turns around, complaining that she's bored, and Xander almost falls off his chair pulling his foot away from Willow's. Real smooth, Don Juatever.

Snyder tells an aged female teacher that "the big pinhead librarian didn't show up." He says he doesn't want to cover for him, and orders her to do it. She assents, and as she leaves, he whines how people expect him to do everything, and that it's not fair. Methinks something is rotten in the state of Lilliput. The teacher, Miss Barton, enters the classroom and gets the students' attention. She tells them to pretend to read until they're sure that Snyder is gone, and then they'll all leave. Xander: "Does anyone else want to marry Miss Barton?" Cordy: "Get in line." Heh. Buffy and Willow are perturbed that Giles didn't show up.

Giles's apartment. Buffy enters without knocking (what is it with people on this show?) to find Giles looking at an old album cover. He notices her, and greets her through a mouthful of candy. She says she was worried. As she looks to her left, the camera pans over to reveal Joyce sitting on the couch, also chewing on candy. Buffy wonders what's going on, but Giles informs her that he and Joyce had an opportunity for a "summit meeting," which took priority over study hall. Joyce says that Buffy was right about them overscheduling her, and that they're working on a solution. She suggests that Buffy give them some more time, and hands over her car keys. If this isn't a clear sign that something is off, I don't know what is. The seventeen-year-old in me says, "Shut up, you crusty old geezer. She's got wheels." I mutter something about "young whippersnappers" and "not how they did things in my day" before getting back to the recap. Buffy leaves in a cartoon cloud of dust. Joyce makes a "whew" face and asks Giles if he thinks she noticed anything. Giles, turning around to reveal that he's just lit a cigarette, says, "No way!" Joyce picks up a bottle of booze. Giles inhales his cigarette and gives the camera a look so sexy that I go running to light one as well.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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