Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Band Candy

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 9 USERS: A
Sexy And Seventeen

Joyce's product-placed Jeep. Buffy drives with Willow in the passenger seat. It's pitch black out, and I have officially given up trying to figure out when the sun rises and sets in the Buffyverse. Turns out that saying Buffy's a bad driver is like saying Churchill was an influential leader. Willow very nervously asks Buffy if she knows that she's driving with the parking brake on. Buffy, nonchalantly: "Uh-huh!" Willow asks if she's sure about going to the Bronze, as the SATs are the next day. Buffy says they can study there. Oh, come on. I did beat Buffy's score, but not by much, and I studied for the verbal for months. But I guess this isn't really about me, huh? Also, it's completely out of character for Willow not to be studying until the last possible minute. Buffy starts to put on some music, but Willow panickedly tells her to keep her eyes on the road. Buffy squeals around another corner. Heh.

Giles's apartment. There's vinyl on (the turntable, that is). Giles is chain-smoking, and lights one for Joyce. Just to lay out the dynamic, Giles is the too-cool-for-school rebel with an accent just like Spike's (which is no coincidence, as JM modeled Spike's accent after ASH's real-life one) and Joyce is the coquettish hanger-on. She asks why he's called Ripper. I think you'll be getting a firsthand answer to that question very soon, Joyce, and don't think I'm not dying of jealousy. Giles gets really into one guitar riff (from Cream's "Tales Of Brave Ulysses"), and says he's got to get a band together, and I think of ASH and JM jamming together and get all moony again, and I don't know how I'm going to finish this recap without several cold showers. Joyce suggests that they watch TV, and seductively says, "I know how to order pay-per-view." Heh. Giles wants to go out, and Joyce suggests the Bronze. Giles: "Not bloody likely. That place is dead."

The Ironic Segue Fairy is doing shots at a hopping Bronze. Dingoes is playing, but we see that the crowd is almost all adults. Buffy and Willow enter, and quickly get very very wigged. They run into Miss Barton, and ask if she's okay. She says she's "cool," and starts cracking up as she realizes that "Willow" is a tree. "Are there any nachos in here, little tree?" I think Val Kilmer said that in The Doors. Miss Barton leaves, but Snyder comes up and puts his arms around the two of them, and the wig factor increases tenfold. He tells them to call him Snyder, "just a last name like 'Barbarino.'" Welllllcome back! He says he thinks Miss Barton is wasted, and leaves. Willow worries that the adults could have heart attacks, and Buffy stutters that maybe there's a doctor there. On stage, some old dude with no shirt on pushes his way past Devon and yells happily. Willow says that he's her doctor. He does a stage dive right onto the floor. Hee. Buffy and Willow try to figure out what's going on. Buffy: "They're acting like a bunch of us." I might point out that no one, with the exception of Faith and possibly Cordelia, has ever acted this fun on the show. Confirming that analysis, Willow says, "I don't act like this." Hee.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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