Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: C+ | 835 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Two minutes of previouslys. Interesting omissions: Kendra, Faith, Drusilla, Riley. The fact that Angel is a vampire. Interesting juxtaposition: footage of Angel immediately followed by footage of Spike.

The episode opens with a portly vampire racing through a cemetery. Vampire being chased. A nice secure opening, like a warm fuzzy blanket. Can Jossverse vampires lose weight? They must be able to. Maybe this guy figures it doesn't really matter if he overeats, since, hey, immortal and all. It always bothered me in the Anne Rice universe (stop snickering, I read 'em a long time ago, okay?) that the vampires always woke up from a day in their coffins exactly as they appeared the moment they were vamped. I used to imagine new vampires following their sires around bitching that they were vamped with a bad haircut, or saying, "What? You couldn't have waited until I lost those last ten pounds?" Hey! Lost Boys is on F/X right now. Those vampires sleep hanging upside down from the ceiling. Uch. And spew lots of gore when you stake them. Messy, campy fun. Unlike Buffy last season, or apparently this one. Now I have totally lost track of where I was. Oh right, the episode had barely started yet. 'Kay, Hoss the vampire runs. Spike, Tara, and Giles are in pursuit. Tara looks cool haulin' ass in a long red duster. The gang reaches the edge of the cemetery with Hoss nowhere in sight. Spike complains that Tara and Giles are "holding [him] back," and calls Giles an "over-the-hill shopkeeper." Tara and Giles pant. Apparently, Tara blew some powder at the vampire, which made him "peppy." Amber delivers her lines with more zing and less stutter than last season, but she really, really sounds stoned. And her eyes are all unfocused. Suddenly, Willow telepaths, "Guys! Heads up!" We see her standing, legs planted wide, on top of a mausoleum. She warns Giles et al. that Hoss is circling back. I'm not liking telepathic Willow. Not one bit. It's too much. What can't she do? She slices! She dices! She crawls on her belly like a reptile! Is that a quote from somewhere? We used to say it in my family and I just now realized I don't know the origin. ["I believe it's from the ads for the Ronco Dial-O-Matic Food Slicer -- 'It slices! It dices! But wait, there's more!' Yes, I looked that shit up. No, I don't have a life. You're welcome." -- Sars] The vampire runs back by the gang and they run after him.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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