Okaaaaaay, here we go, folks! Season six of Buffy, on its new home, UPN. I've kept my recapping skills a little toned by the summer recaps of season three, but it still feels strange and intimidating to be sitting down in front of an all-new episode.
First we get previouslys, as introduced by Giles. I'm interested to see what we'll get here in an attempt to bring any new viewers up to speed. We see Hemery High Buffy being told she's the Chosen One. Quick shots of monsters, including Olaf the ret-con "Troll God." Yes, I'm still bitter about that. Hemery High Buffy looks surprised. Hemery High Buffy stakes her first vamp. She protests being the Slayer. Early season-one Giles tells her, "Into each generation a Slayer is born." Early season-one Willow coins the phrase "the Slayerettes." I so prefer "Scooby Gang," as I'm sure you've all figured by my recaps over the past two years. Season-five Xander (looking and acting a whole scary lot like John Ritter) explains that the Scooby Gang have been with Buffy "from the beginning." We get shots of Willow and Tara "doing spells" (nudge nudge, poke poke), and of Xander proposing marriage to Anya. Buffy's voice-over indicates that Tara and Willow are witches and that Anya is an ex-demon. We see Angel and Buffy sitting on the bed in "Surprise," and then kissing from some episode I don't recall. Because it's not like I've memorized every time they mashed lips, folks. Buffy VOs, "Don't go!" as Angel turns at the end of "Graduation Day Part Two" and walks into the fog. Interesting, they totally skipped over him being a vampire and that whole pesky season-two Angelus thing. Spike arrives in Sunnydale. We see him vamped out and then get some scenes explaining the chip in his head. He recoils in pain when he tries to bite Willow and then tells Giles, "Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies any more." Spike tells Buffy he knows she doesn't love him. Then we get the scene where he reads from Giles's Watcher diary and reveals to Dawn that she's the Key. Please, please powers that be, I never want to see that scene again! It was in practically every previouslys at the end of last season, and the fact that Spike is talking with his mouth full grosses me out each and every time I have to see it. The leader of the Knights of Borezantium tells Dawn she's the Key to all the inter-dimensional portals and that if she's destroyed, "the will of the Beast will be broken." Up on the Tower of Tribulation, Doc slashes Dawn's side and then tosses Spike off the edge. In an effective shot, Spike hits the ground and bounces. Dawn and Buffy debate who gets to use the high dive first (these girls need to learn to share), and then Buffy jumps into the mystical energy portal. She screams in pain and appears to die. Aw, we see the sad ending of "The Gift." Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow and Tara all approach Buffy's body. Spike cowers in the sunlight, and Buffy VOs, "You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Be brave. Live." Dawn sobs. We see Buffy's gravestone. "For me." Let's do it for Buffy, man! Let's do it for Buffy! Stay gold, Dawnie.
Two minutes of previouslys. Interesting omissions: Kendra, Faith, Drusilla, Riley. The fact that Angel is a vampire. Interesting juxtaposition: footage of Angel immediately followed by footage of Spike.