Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bargaining, Part I

Episode Report Card
Ace: C | 1 USERS: C
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What We Did On Our Summer Vacation

Our other friends are still not winning against Hoss. Hoss tosses the 'Bot into a headstone, and she bounces and flops around in a way I find distressing. Giles grabs an ax, but Hoss uses it to pin Giles's neck against the cemetery fence. Spike jumps on Hoss's back and struggles with him, but then steps back for a breather. Willow and Giles are both like, "Uh? Some help here, Dead Boy?" Spike insists he is helping, and we see he's used his lighter to set Hoss's shirttail on fire. That's what he gets for being such a sloppy dresser, I guess. Hoss bursts into flames, and when he dusts, he just crumbles downwards rather than poofing. Spike takes a drag on his cigarette and gives Giles a hand up. When Giles complains about the throttling, Spike snarks, "Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes? Cuppa tea, cuppa tea, almost got shagged, cuppa tea?" Willow then mentals for them to help Xander and Anya. A burly vamp has Xander in a headlock, and in a cool move I had to watch in slo-mo to catch, swings Xander around and uses his body to knock down Anya. The 'Bot arrives on the scene. Fighting. Spike arrives. More fighting. The 'Bot, who seems to be the only one carrying stakes, dusts the vampire and chirps, "That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!" BWA! That's really funny. The rest of the gang looks perplexed. Willow explains that she's been trying to program the 'Bot with new puns but has ended up with "word salad" instead. The gang strides out of the cemetery as Giles expositions that Willow must keep the 'Bot running smoothly so that no one in Sunnydale, demon or human, figures out that Buffy is dead. "I got her off those knock-knock jokes," protests Willow. The 'Bot, smiling vacantly, pipes up, "Oh! Who's there?" I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I love the 'Bot; I really, really do. She's so cute and happy and chirpy and I just know reanimated Buffy is going to be an angst-y pained ball of angst just like she was all last season, and sometimes I wish we could just replace her with the robot permanently. Especially if she keeps making jokes about marzipan. As the gang strides towards the camera:

Xander: You know, if we want her to be exactly --
Spike: She'll never be exactly.
Xander: I know.
Tara: The only really real Buffy is really Buffy.
Giles: And she's gone.
The 'Bot (as if it's still a knock-knock joke): If we want her to be exactly she'll never be exactly I know the only really real Buffy is really Buffy and she's gone who?

Credits. Same theme song. I can't tell if any of the shots of SMG are from the sixth season. There's one of Buffy smiling, and I hope that's from this season because honestly, this poor girl has already had such a hard year, and then the dying, and I really am ready to see a little happiness on this show. Nick Brendan looking cuter with shorter hair. Emma Caulfield. I like the shot in the bunny suit. Hee. Michelle Trachtenberg with her shiny, shiny hair. James Marsters looking straight into the camera and working those cheekbones. Oh! Subway Spike. I like that. And then, "And Alyson Hannigan as Willow." Neither Anthony Stewart Head nor Amber Benson is named in the credits.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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