Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bargaining, Part II

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 3 USERS: B
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Bargaining, Part II

Summers's home. Or, well, sort of. There's only one Summers left at this point. Spike's idly watching telly while Dawn snoozes on the sofa. All of a sudden Spike hears the loud rumble of many motorcycles outside, and he goes to the window to check it out. The noise awakens Dawn too, and Spike tells her to stay away from the windows while he investigates.

Main street of Sunnydale. Demon bikers on a rampage of destruction. I should just program that into one of my function keys right now. Fathers, lock up your cars! They're bustin' windows and setting things on fire all over the place.

And may I just say that it's really a bit odd to be dropped right into an episode of Buffy already in full swing? I'm used to having some plot development and such to get me warmed up. A girl needs a little rising action, if you know what I mean, and -- the hell? I don't mean it like THAT. See what happens when you don't warm up before recapping? Anyway, more pillaging. Buffybot comes across the demons breaking into a display window and taking out something that looks like it could be a board game. You know how it is -- after a long hard night of raiding and looting, sometimes all you want to do is have a little mindless Hungry Hungry Hippos fun with your buds. "That doesn't belong to you. Put it back," instructs the Buffybot, all hands on her hips. These demon bikers aren't fooled, though, and they circle her menacingly. The lead demon confronts Buffybot. Ah. According to the shooting script, his name is Razor. I'm sure. You know he had it changed from something lame like "Erwin." When B'bot tells him to take his gang and ride their "loud bicycles" right out of town, Erwin punches her. She's caught by two of the demons, and struggles while Erwin extends his Cutco-brand switchblade claws. He slashes Buffybot's shoulder, revealing wires and red lights. Buffybot knees him in the groin and shakes off the other demons. She announces that she would love to stay and play, but she has to return to Willow because she's injured. The demons aren't letting her go without a fight, and they tussle a bit before Buffinator can run off. Erwin orders his boys to pursue her.

Cut to Buffy's grave, where Anya, Xander, and Tara watch as Willow writhes in a red field of mystical energy. The Buffybot comes running up, calling, "Willow! I need service." Heh. Way to try to attract that male demographic, UPN. All your WWF-addled regular viewers know is that the cute redhead was kissing that other girl earlier, and now the hot blonde wants to be serviced. All of a sudden the area is awash with demon bikers circling the grave on their motorcycles. One of them runs over the Urn of Osiris, causing Willow to scream and collapse as she is abruptly released from her mystical thrall. Xander rushes over to Willow and pulls her out of the way as Tara and Anya take off into the woods. A demon biker follows them and pulls Anya onto his motorcycle. Tara quickly offers a prayer to the goddess K-Martia, who hears her plea, and Anya is knocked off the bike by a blue-light special. The girls dart off.

Xander carries Willow into the thick of the woods. He sets her gently against a tree and asks if she's okay. Willow wearily mumbles, "Did it work?" and at Xander's, "I'm sorry," she slumps into unconsciousness. The camera pans across her long black satiny dress, and man, that Osiris must be a stickler for protocol or something, because when I try and raise the dead I like to be as comfortable as possible. Especially if I'm going to be horking up snakes and shit. In my book, resurrection is strictly a blue-jeans affair. You really need the freedom of movement to contort with pain that velvet and taffeta just don't provide.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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