Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bargaining, Part II

Episode Report Card
Sep: C | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Bargaining, Part II

Announcer Guy: "You're watching Buffy on UPN."
Sep: "Don't fucking remind me."

Buffy stands up and turns; the first thing she sees is her headstone. She stares at it with such shock, horror, and revulsion that I'm wondering if there's a mirror on the front that's reflecting her outfit.

Buffy walks through a burning Sunnydale. We get a shot from Vaseline Cam to show us that Buffy is Disturbed And Disoriented. She passes a burned-out police car, so I guess at least some of the cops in Sunnydale showed up to try to fight the demon menace. Fire. Destruction. Chaos.

Anya and Tara arrive at a dark Zauber Kasten. They hear noises from outside and look out the window to see, uh, looting. The girls worry about Willow and Xander, and I just don't care. Tara thinks that they might have gotten turned around in the woods, and clears off a table to sit on and do a little spell thingy.

Woods. Xander and Willow stumble around lost, because the North Star that Xander has been navigating by is actually a blimp. Willow is tired and needs to rest, because the spell "took a lot out of" her. Xander calls her on it and demands to know what sort of dark mojo they were messing with. Willow brushes off his question, saying they have bigger demon-shaped problems to worry about. "There's something you don't see everyday," quips Xander, "unless you're us." Heh. It's all in the delivery. At that moment, Willow notices a blue light rushing towards them. Xander is worried about the nature of the light and warns Willow to stay behind him. Y'know, I must say that while this episode is about forty-five minutes of filler, I am appreciating the way that the writers aren't making Xander a total wuss anymore. I guess they have to have at least one man now that Giles has left and Spike has become a housewife. The blue light rushes Xander, who freaks out (hey, the butt-monkey removal procedure takes time) and swats at the tiny, bobbing glow as Willow tries to tell him that it's really Tara come to lead them home.

Buffy wanders the streets of Sunnydale, disoriented. Her hair is waaaay longer and waaaay darker than it was in "The Gift," and much too clean for her to have just dug out of her own grave. I guess Willow used the lesser known "resurrection and a creme rinse" spell. Buffy accidentally sets off a car alarm, and the owner of the house comes out on the porch and brandishes a shotgun at her. Geez! Buffy stands dumbly for a moment before skittering away.

Spike and Dawn hide in some bushes at the side of the house. Spike watches the demons break into the house next door and gets a little smile on his face. In response to Dawn's query, he mentions that it "looks like fun." Yes. Fun. Go with that, Spike. Go have fun. Kill indiscriminately. Please. Spike realizes that they aren't going to be able to get away without transportation. He spies a football helmet, which he tosses to Dawn. Spike strides out to the middle of the street and stands stock still as a demon biker bears down on him. At the last second, Spike drop kicks the demon off of his bike and calls, "Let's fly, pigeon," to Dawn. They ride off into the chaos. Um. Why didn't they just take Joyce's SUV? I imagine it'd be much safer to run over bikers with a few tons of steel surrounding you. Maybe they had to sell it to pay for the multiple funerals last year or something.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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