Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Beauty And The Beasts

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B- | 5 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Abuse is bad, mmmkay?

Buffy enters an office. We see a hand in the foreground, holding a cigarette. At this point I'm reminded of one of my favorite Ace lines, from her recap of "Innocence." To paraphrase a bit, since he's smoking, we can safely assume he falls into one of two categories -- "evil," or "not long for this world." Ah, the simplicity of TV. Thankfully, Dr. Pavone on Felicity was an exception to that rule. Without turning around, but not without smoking, he welcomes Buffy. She meekly says, "Buffy Summers, reporting for sanity." That line sends me into a giggling fit every time I hear it. She launches into a speech about how she doesn't want to talk about her life, nor does she want to be friends with him. Platt, played by Phill Lewis, turns in his chair, and says, "We're not gonna be friends." That's a relief, because Buffy's already very busy without having to go to your funeral. He continues that what she needs is a trained professional who will give her his honest opinion. I start giggling again as I imagine this conversation:

Buffy: So Scott and I have been out on like five dates, and nothing. I mean, it's not like I want to pull a Faith here, but a little action would be nice.
Mr. Platt: Well, what do you do together?
Buffy: Oh, normal stuff -- shop, go to the salon, see Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood. His idea.
Mr. Platt: I see. Did you ever think that he might be --
Buffy: Impotent? Yeah. But isn't he a little young for that?
Mr. Platt: Oh, dear. No, what I was thinking rhymes with "hay" but starts with "G."
Buffy: Scott's not gay! He's just sensitive. He brought Steel Magnolias over last night! It was so romantic!
Mr. Platt: Sweetie, denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Honest enough, don't you think? Platt invites her to sit down, then lectures her that everyone's a little crazy. He whacks us over the head by saying, "Everyone has demons." He assures her that she can change, and wants to know why she ran away. Buffy assures him that she's better, but he still wants to know the deal. She gives him the extreme Cliffs Notes version. See how I tie these things together? He draws out that Angel "changed," and surmises that he "got mean." He says that Buffy was lost in love, but for people who stay that way, "love becomes your master, and you're just its dog."

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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