Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Beer Bad

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 3 USERS: D
Beer Bad

More shots of the Caveboys making mischief. One of them steps out into the street and gets hit by a car. Wait a minute. Aren't most less advanced life forms out there usually instinctually afraid of fast-moving, loud objects such as cars? I'm just sayin'. The driver gets out to make sure his victim is okay but takes off running when the rest of the Caveboys rush him. But wait! It's not him they're after, it's the car, which they beat into submission. Fossil evidence also suggests that Neanderthals never reacted violently to cars. Bam-Bam catches sight of a couple of girls walking along the sidewalk. They notice him, scream, and take off running. The Caveboys give chase, whooping wildly and abandoning their fallen comrade. I really wish they had done more research for this episode, because it's commonly accepted that Neanderthals cared for their injured.

Xander and Giles are walking down the corridor to Buffy's room, and Xander is explaining that Buffy didn't have as much to drink as the guys did because he cut her off. Giles expresses disbelief that Xander served Buffy alcohol. Xander protests that he "didn't know it was evil!" Giles rebuts with, "You knew it was beer." Xander snits, "Well, excuse me, Mr. I-spent-the-sixties-in-an-electric-Kool-Aid-funky-Satan-groove." Giles corrects him with, "It was the early seventies, and you should know better." My gosh, these two bicker like a couple. Oh, and can I sign up for the electric Kool-Aid funky Satan groove thing with Giles? They enter Buffy's dorm room to find Buffy doing her best Daryl Hannah impression; she's drawn a stick figure on her wall, and she pounds on it, saying, "Parker bad!" Hey! Where are Buffy's brow ridges? I wonder if Sarah Michelle Gellar was too vain to allow that.

Parker and Willow are still in the mostly deserted lounge/coffeehouse place, but they've moved to easy chairs. Parker is actively trying to put the moves on Willow as he tells her that he's never found "the one." "The one" is apparently the girl who he can just sit with and spew his ridiculous lines. He asks if he can tell Willow something private. Willow: "I feel you've shown me a perspective I haven't thought much about before." Sep: "[Choke.] What are you doing, Willow?" Willow asks what he was going to tell her. Parker leans closer and, as I flinch, rests his hand on Willow's: "I've enjoyed talking with you. Here. Tonight." Willow: "Me too, I mean with you. I'm wondering something. About you. Just how gullible do you think I am?" I breathe a sigh of relief. Parker is astounded that somebody saw through his lines. Willow sets him straight telling him, "I've got your number, Id Boy." She laments that men only think about sex and that they haven't changed "since the dawn of time." Um, Willow? Oz is that-a-way -- maybe you should go talk to him about this. On cue, Bam-Bam and his boys burst into the lounge with their kidnapped women in tow and swarm towards Willow and Parker, knocking them out cold.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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