Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Beneath You

Episode Report Card
Ace: C+ | 2 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Beneath Who?
Principal Wood shows Buffy to her little cubicle area in a larger office, explaining that some students will be sent to her and he hopes that others will learn to seek her out. Buffy's worried the students won't come to see her, but Wood assures her, "You'd be surprised, Buffy. You're the youngest and, uh, least stuffy member of this faculty."

Ash: And the only one wearing a shirt cut down to her sternum with a see-through skirt, I'll bet. Yeah, she'll be popular.
Ace: I guess no one has sent her the memo yet about teenaged boys spending all their time looking down teacher's shirts. I learned that one the hard way, after the entire school had heard what color bra I was wearing that day.

Anyway, the principal thinks students will want to talk to Buffy and advises her that she shouldn't judge or evaluate them. Her role will be just to listen and provide understanding. Oh, please. Nobody is going to open up to anyone else in a cubicle. Buffy seems to have missed the point entirely though, because she just asks all excitedly, "Can I give detention?" Wow, Little Miss Power Trip. Sure, give them detention. In a listening and understanding way. Sigh. Why would she even be dishing out punishment unless the students directly break rules while in her office? Wood says she can give detention and admonishes her not to make friends with the kids, because if she does so "these students will eat [her] alive." Buffy asks, "You heard about Principal Flutie, right?" "He was the one whose woolly-headed, liberal thinking lead to his being eaten, right?" asks Wood. Actually not. I just missed Snyder for a moment. Wood just looks confused and then makes a lame attempt to relax Buffy by adding, "There's only three things these kids understand: the boot, the bat and the bastinado." He chuckles but spots Buffy's blank look and muses that no one ever gets the joke because they don't know what a bastinado is. "Wooden rod used to slap the soles of the feet in Turkish prisons, but if made with the correct wood, makes an awesome billy club," dictionaries Buffy. The principal thinks she'll "fit in just fine." Buffy's curious as to why she has the job, suggesting that perhaps Wood "enjoyed [her] work at the Doublemeat Palace." Hee. Nope, he's a vegetarian. Guess he doesn't know the secret of the meat there. He doesn't know much, does he? Anyway, he's not a vegetarian with a very good answer to Buffy's question, as he just replies that the students need someone who understands them. That's not any more of an answer than it was the first six times we heard it this episode. Then he wonders if there's something he should know about Buffy; she claims she can't think of anything. After Principal Wood leaves to discipline some students, Buffy decides to snoop around the school some more.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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