Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 6 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Got The Love

In an empty classroom, Amy repeats Xander's request: "A love spell?" He confirms that he wants Cordy to eat, sleep, and breathe only him. Xander, I like you well enough in this episode, but I've still got to give that an "ew." Some further questioning reveals that Xander only wants Cordy to pine for him so he can jilt her back. Ah, the old counterjiltery gambit. So many have tried. Amy warns him that love spells are the hardest to cast, and that the intent behind them has to be pure. This line is known in the business as the "Wackiness Clause." In its purest form, it's heralded by an accordion, but we'll take what we can get. Xander threatens to expose her "invisible homework," something with which he no doubt has an awful lot of experience. She gives in and tells him she'll need a personal effect of Cordy's. That shouldn't be tough -- she carries more beauty products than Mary Kay.

Buffy marches in to see Giles and slaps the "Soon" note down in front of him, and demands to know what she can expect from Angelus. Meanwhile, in the hallway, Xander accosts Cordy and demands the necklace back. While some might see this as extremely petty on his part, I'm focusing more on the fact that he originally intended to let her keep it. She protests, but then huffs that it's in her locker. Under cover of the locker door, she removes the chain from its real location around her neck, which was covered by her fully-buttoned collared shirt. She steels herself, then closes the door and hands it over. They part company with looks both baleful and sad. Aw.

Night. In the gym, Xander sits shirtless and holding a candle, red markings on his chest and the floor. Amy recites an plea to Diana that Cordy be bent to Xander's will. Again, ew. She drops the necklace into a beaker that's boiling over. And here I thought magic was physics, not chemistry. Flames rise and then retreat into the beaker, and Amy instructs Xander to blow out the candle, which he does. Scene. This recap's flying by. Why couldn't that have happened with "Go Fish" or "Reptile Boy"?

Phoebe Halliwell: A love spell? Love spells with wacky, unforeseen consequences are my turf, dude!
Couch Baron: What's that got to do with me? I'm just the recapper here.
Phoebe Halliwell: You're the recapper that's been ripping me to shreds all these years?
Couch Baron: No, that's Demian. This isn't even your show -- it's not always about you, you know. Pay attention.
Phoebe Halliwell: Well, then, give Demian a message for me. Tell him to stop taking everyone else's side all the time. I'm the real talent on my show!
Couch Baron: Let me give you a message from him. You're a brainless, fried-haired, implanted, self-absorbed, simpering, bony hag, and if he could make a living solely by insulting you, he'd be the happiest man in the world.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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