Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: B | 998 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Thank YOU very much, Second Law of Thermodynamics!

Inside the store, Dawn greets Anya and Xander; Xander does his best to act normally by tickling Dawn, which leads her to ask in a tone of mock severity, "Did you get into the sugar again?" Suddenly, Anya turns to her and stiffly exclaims, "You make a very pretty little girl!" Okay, heh. As Dawn looks annoyed, Xander hustles Anya away. Giles and Buffy exit the training room, and Giles, jotting in his Watcher's diary, suggests Buffy's training sessions should be harder. Buffy isn't too pleased with this suggestion and teases, "Maybe next time I patrol I should carry a load of bricks and use a stake made of butter." For some reason, SMG chooses to end that line with a big ol' hair toss. Tone it down, girl; this ain't one of your Maybelline commercials. They approach the counter and make chit-chat with Dawn about school, which she describes as "a big square building filled with boredom and despair." Hey, Murray Junior High in St. Paul, Minnesota, I'm thinking of you. Hey, maybe Glory is a god from a dimension where it's all junior high, all the time. I would describe that as a very "seriously unpleasant" demon dimension, wouldn't you? ["Actually, it sounds like my first job out of college." -- Sars] And it would explain Glory's whiny all-about-me attitude and unstable temperament. She's the personification of thirteen-year-old hell. But uh, I was writing a recap here, I think. Buffy asks Dawn if she has homework, and as Dawn replies in the affirmative, she notes that Giles has hidden away his diary. Buffy then says she can't help with the homework because she has things to do. Dawn wants to know if the things have to do with Glory, but Buffy lies and says no. They banter, and Dawn amuses me by snotting that Buffy is just pissed because Glory is prettier than she is. Hee. The sibling banter continues, and the scene ends.

Glory's apartment. Glory has Orlando tied with his arms above his head in the middle of the room. Let's play master and servant. I hear it's a lot like life. I wonder if the place came with the bondage fixtures or if Glory had them installed for her own amusement? Speaking of amusement, or lack thereof, Glory is outfitted in a gold lamé strapless ensemble with a gold dangly necklace that really does confirm the much dreaded eighties revival. Bad clothing choices aside, Glory wants to know where the Key is, but of course Orlando won't tell her. Blah blah, Glory teases the knight about fearing intimacy and then, hands under his shirt, rubs herself on him like a cat. The dialogue is written like she's going to jump his bones, but of course the "something" she wants from him is his sanity. Why are all these knightly bit players so much more attractive than Ben? I don't understand the Buffy casting department failure in the Ben department, since they made such a good choice with Michelle Trachtenberg. Anyway, Glory sticks her hands in Orlando's head, light shoots out, he screams, she looks happy.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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