Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Ace: B | 998 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Thank YOU very much, Second Law of Thermodynamics!

Dawn climbs down a trellis in the Summers back yard. She backs away from the house and bumps into Spike. Yay, Spike! He claims to have not been lurking, but rather "standing about," and Dawn takes on a very sarcastic tone as she notes that he's carrying his much-abused box of chocolates. What, he couldn't steal a new, un-battered box? One which he hadn't used to beat the crap out of the Buffyquin? Spike leans in close and tries to intimidate Dawn, but she just giggles and says, "C'mon, I'm badder than you." Hee. Spike asks if Dawn was "sneaking out to braid hair and watch Teletubbies with [her] mates," so Dawn confides that she's actually planning to break into Giles's shop to steal things. You can see the wheels turning in Spike's brain as he realizes that the walk to the shop could be dangerous, and that Buffy would be unhappy if anything happened to Dawn. "You want to come steal some stuff?" invites Dawn, and Spike actually looks interested as he replies, "Yeah, all right."

Outside Der Zauber Kasten, Spike is picking the lock as Dawn holds the chocolate box. He gets the door open and sneers with a cocky tilt of his head, "Who's bad now?" Uh, it'll take a lot more than that, m'dear. Inside, he's a little disappointed to hear the whole "caper" is only to steal a book, and starts to help himself to knickknacks on the counter as Dawn looks for Giles's Watcher diary. She finds it in a secret drawer under the counter. Sometime later, Spike and Dawn have made themselves cozy on the floor, surrounded by candles. As Dawn reads from the diary, Spike grouses, "Where'd [Giles] learn to write so bloody small? A fruit fly?" Dawn continues to read from the diary about monks and keys, boring Spike as much as she's boring me, I guess, since he starts wandering around the store. "Hey! Troll hammer!" he exclaims and attempts to lift the hammer, which slams back to the ground with a heavy clang. Uh, all I can say is whatever, after the way that hammer seemed to be made of Styrofoam in "Triangle." Oh hey, one of the candles Dawn is reading by is shaped like a unicorn. That cracks me up. I wonder if Giles sells bongs shaped like Gandalf too. According to Giles's diary, the Key is an "energy matrix vibrating at a dimensional frequency beyond any normal human perception." I wonder if the Key is dimensionally transcendental. Is Dawn bigger on the inside than she is on the outside? What? I'm just curious. You know what this show needs? A robot dog! Robot dogs always make things better. As Dawn reads that insane people can perceive the Key, she flashes back to the different crazies she's encountered this season. Spike munches on the chocolates and wonders if the Key is valuable. Dawn reads further that the Key is susceptible to "necromanced animal detection," and flashes back to our old friend Fake the Snake. Hi Fake. Bye Fake. Haven't missed ya. Don't come back. At this point Spike takes the diary from Dawn and reads further, revealing, "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect [the Key] with her life so they sent [it] to her in human form. In the form of her sister." With a flair for the obvious, Spike then tells the shocked Dawn, "Huh. I guess that's you, niblet."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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