Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Blood Ties

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Thank YOU very much, Second Law of Thermodynamics!

Outside Der Zauber Kasten, Spike is picking the lock as Dawn holds the chocolate box. He gets the door open and sneers with a cocky tilt of his head, "Who's bad now?" Uh, it'll take a lot more than that, m'dear. Inside, he's a little disappointed to hear the whole "caper" is only to steal a book, and starts to help himself to knickknacks on the counter as Dawn looks for Giles's Watcher diary. She finds it in a secret drawer under the counter. Sometime later, Spike and Dawn have made themselves cozy on the floor, surrounded by candles. As Dawn reads from the diary, Spike grouses, "Where'd [Giles] learn to write so bloody small? A fruit fly?" Dawn continues to read from the diary about monks and keys, boring Spike as much as she's boring me, I guess, since he starts wandering around the store. "Hey! Troll hammer!" he exclaims and attempts to lift the hammer, which slams back to the ground with a heavy clang. Uh, all I can say is whatever, after the way that hammer seemed to be made of Styrofoam in "Triangle." Oh hey, one of the candles Dawn is reading by is shaped like a unicorn. That cracks me up. I wonder if Giles sells bongs shaped like Gandalf too. According to Giles's diary, the Key is an "energy matrix vibrating at a dimensional frequency beyond any normal human perception." I wonder if the Key is dimensionally transcendental. Is Dawn bigger on the inside than she is on the outside? What? I'm just curious. You know what this show needs? A robot dog! Robot dogs always make things better. As Dawn reads that insane people can perceive the Key, she flashes back to the different crazies she's encountered this season. Spike munches on the chocolates and wonders if the Key is valuable. Dawn reads further that the Key is susceptible to "necromanced animal detection," and flashes back to our old friend Fake the Snake. Hi Fake. Bye Fake. Haven't missed ya. Don't come back. At this point Spike takes the diary from Dawn and reads further, revealing, "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect [the Key] with her life so they sent [it] to her in human form. In the form of her sister." With a flair for the obvious, Spike then tells the shocked Dawn, "Huh. I guess that's you, niblet."

Back at Buffy's house, Willow is sympathizing that someone didn't send a card to Buffy, and I'm thinking they're talking about her dad, but no, they're discussing Riley. So, let's move on. Buffy suggests "birthdays without boyfriends," Willow gets another "hey I'm a lesbian now" line, and suddenly Tara's eyes widen in shock. Dawn has entered the room, her arms held out at her sides. We see she's holding a large knife and has cut her right arm. Stone-faced, she asks, "Is this blood?" Buffy and Joyce rush to her side, and when Buffy demands, "What did you do?" Dawn turns to Joyce, trying to maintain control, and grits out, "This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a key." On the verge of hysteria, she begins to break down and sobs, "Am I real? Am I anything?" Joyce hugs Dawn close, and Buffy's lower lip quivers.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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