Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Blood Ties

Episode Report Card
Ace: B- | 2 USERS: A+
Thank YOU very much, Second Law of Thermodynamics!

The hospital. Neanderthal-browed Ben enters the psych ward and makes a dumb joke about the medications he's carrying. I think these poor crazy people have enough problems without you mocking them, Monkey Face. Orlando, the Knight of Borezantium, is strapped to one of the beds and draws Ben's attention with his ranting. Suddenly, crusty minion Jinx appears out of nowhere and starts flapping his crusty jaws, saying the KoB are "like ants. First you see one, then two, then the picnic's ruined." Anyway, Jinx finally gets to the point and tells Ben that his fate is "directly linked" to Glory's, and that Glory is tired of Ben's defiance. Ben basically says, "Neener, neener. I am rubber and you are glue, what you say bounces off me and sticks to you." That, and "Glory can't lay a finger" on him. He threatens to beat Jinx up some more. Nobody cares!

Dawn is up in her room, going through her diaries and getting more and more distraught, while downstairs Joyce and Buffy are in the living room discussing the situation. Joyce doesn't want to leave Dawn alone, but because Buffy is an emotionally insecure freak who flees when presented with a traumatic situation, she insists that Dawn needs her space. Joyce informs Buffy of Dawn's suspension for yelling at a teacher. Wow. Have the school systems cracked down lately or what? In my day the teachers yelled at you, you yelled at the teachers, and at the end of the day everyone went home with a sore throat and that was called "learning."

Dawn creeps to the top of the stairs just in time to hear Buffy say, "She probably feels like she can say or do anything right now." Imitating Dawn's train of thought, she continues, "She's not real. We're not her family. We don't even know what she is." Dawn is stricken by this news, and am I going to hell here for noticing that one of her breasts is distinctly higher than the other? Puberty is a real bitch even when you're not some sort of mystical energy force. Anyway, she runs into her room and goes on a rampage, tearing down posters, pulling things off of shelves, and ripping pages out of her diaries. Downstairs Buffy and Joyce remain oblivious to the noise, despite the fact that Dawn was able to hear them speaking in normal tones from upstairs.

Joyce and Buffy's heated conversation continues with Buffy asserting that Dawn needs "real answers." "What she needs, Buffy," retorts Joyce, "is her sister. Not the Slayer." They're interrupted by a loud alarm, and both jump up. Rushing upstairs, Buffy assumes that it's Willow's spell, but when they enter Dawn's room they see that a trashcan ablaze with Dawn's diaries has set off the fire alarm. Buffy starts to yell for Dawn, upset that she might have burned the house down, but Joyce stops her with a sober, "Buffy. She's gone," all the while staring at the flapping curtains in the breeze. Poor Joyce. All her daughters high-tail it out of there at some point.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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