Boy howdy. Does anyone else get the impression that Joss finally got a memo from 20th Century Fox or the WB okaying him to use the words "gay" and "lesbian" in conjunction with Willow and Tara?

Xander tells the big CoWboy that he, Willow, and Buffy are best friends, and that he and Willow have helped Buffy "since the beginning." Since the beginning of the series, I guess he means, because they certainly haven't helped since the beginning of her career as a Slayer. Big CoWboy wants to know if Xander has "mastered any fighting disciplines," and on Xander's negative reply, he points out that Xander has "no special skills, or powers or knowledge that [he] bring[s] to the mix." Anya interjects that they have enthusiasm for killing demons, in case we forgot that she's an ex-demon, because we're all so likely to forget that since they never point it out and all. Xander says he helps, and mentions the spell that was performed in "Primeval." Big CoWboy is surprised and wants to know if Buffy often needs that kind of help.

Cut to Willow and Tara protesting that Buffy doesn't need their help. Willow enthusiastically explains that they help with magic, and starts in on her ball of sunshine theory. Hello to the continuity! The dark-haired CoWboy inquires "what level" the witches have. They of course have no idea what he's on about and bluster an answer. "Five!" declares Tara with confidence. The CoWboy then asks if the witches are "registered as practicing witches" under their names as they gave them to him. More lying from the girls.

Blah, blah. More interrogation of Xander and Anya. Xander tells the big CoWboy that Buffy's "saved [his] life lots of times. The vampires in this town hate her."

Which is of course a cue for a Spike scene. He's in his crypt, two CoWboys holding him at bay with a crossbow and crucifix, while the librarian-type CoWgirl stands behind them asking questions. And I have a few questions. Namely, how they would even know that he's been involved with Buffy lately, and furthermore, why they would see anything coming from a vampire as worthwhile information. I'm sure the gang had enough sense not to mention Spike during their interviews. Anyway. Spike mentions to the CoWgirl that he's noticed that Buffy hasn't been as effective lately. He attributes it to the fact that she "can't keep a man…a few more disappointments and she'll be crying on [his] shoulder." The CoWgirl seems surprised at this and muses, "I'd think you'd want to kill her. You've killed Slayers before." At this point Spike turns on the charm so effectively that he's got me ogling him in an effort to find the switch as he glides a little closer and asks, "Heard of me, have you?" The CoWgirl bashfully mentions that she "wrote [her] thesis on [him]." This tickles Spike's fancy, and he asks her to tell him if Buffy's gotten "high marks in all categories" so far.