Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Choices

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B+ | 1 USERS: B
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Choose Life

Much later, Willow is finishing with the last of the volumes when Faith's voice interrupts her: "Check out the bookworm." She chides Willow for "Nancy Drewing," saying that now she knows too much, which leads to killing. Willow stalls, saying that she wants to talk to Faith. Faith thinks Willow wants to tell her it's not too late for her, but Willow says it's way too late. Faith's face falls. Willow: "You know, it didn't have to be this way. But you made your choice. I know you had a tough life; I know that some people think you had a lot of bad breaks. Well, boo hoo! Poor you. You know, you had a lot more in your life than some people. I mean, you had friends like Buffy. Now you have no one. You were a Slayer, and now you're nothing. You're just a big, selfish, worthless waste." Wow. Who knew Willow had it in her? She's turned into Parker Posey or something. Faith hauls off and punches her. Willow continues to stack up the verbal points, noting that Faith hit her because she didn't have a comeback. Faith answers that by drawing her knife, but the Mayor interrupts them, saying that he just got an interesting phone call. He's so excited that he doesn't even chastise Faith for sitting on his desk.

School. The Scoobs have barricaded themselves in the cafeteria. Oz says that the only way in is through the front door. Xander says he feels trapped, but Buffy wants to see the Mayor coming. On cue, the lights go out. Angel says he can see fine. The doors swing open, and the Mayor strides in flanked by henchvamps, with Faith, holding Willow, behind him. Probably unintentionally, but still hilariously, everyone's looking at him except Angel, who's staring off to the side. Doofus. The groups stand off, and Buffy and the Mayor step forward, all Jets and Sharks. I expect "Beat It" to start up, which would have been hysterical. No such luck. The Mayor chuckles at how much of a cliché the clandestine scene is, and says he feels like they should all be wearing trench coats. He notes that Buffy is "the little girl that's been causing [him] all this trouble." Since he has actually seen her on two previous occasions, I'm taking that as his way of introducing himself. It's no worse than "Hi, I'm Richard Wilkins, and you and all your friends will be residents of my huge maw soon enough." The Mayor tells Angel that Buffy is pretty. Faith's face falls. Eliza always gets the little things right. He goes on that Angel must have strange taste in women not to have chosen Faith. Angel: "Well, what can I say. I like 'em sane." Give me a Dru! Dru! Faith pulls Willow closer, prompting Oz to urgently chide Angel. The Mayor says he wishes them the best, but that he doesn't see a future for them together. Buffy tries to shut him up, but he won't be deterred, saying they should show more respect for their elders. Angel retorts that the Mayor isn't his elder, but the Mayor counters that that's a big obstacle for him and Buffy. He says that he married his wife in '03 (I assume 1903, although I don't know for sure it wasn't before) and that he was with her to the end, which was "not a pretty picture." Those May/December romances never are. I mean, Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle? Wrong on more levels than an Escher drawing.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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