Fade out, and fade in on Buffy and Spike lying (fully clothed, people!) on the cot. Spike's asleep, but Buffy is awake, stroking his arm. She gets up and paces around the dark basement, thinking about the fight to come, I suppose. Caleb manifests from the dark behind her. Oh, turds. I thought we'd seen the last of him. Rather than seeing an enemy Buffy just Ginsu'd here, I think this might've been a great place to bring back Joyce or someone who could really tweak Buffy's head. First Caleb sulks about Buffy killing Real Caleb, and am I supposed to be laughing here? It's just amusing to think of an enemy who comes calling to kvetch about you winning a battle. It's like Saddam Hussein stopping by the White House during "Operation Iraqi Freedom" to bend Bush's ear about how unfair it was of him to bomb one of Saddam's palaces. "Hey, George baby. Oh, I'm sorry, were you eating? No, carry on. Well, I just came by to tell you that -- say, are those snickerdoodles?! Mind if I take one? Thanks. Well, George, I gotta say -- these bombings really hurt, man. Really brought me low. I thought we were simpatico, buddies, friends. Just wanted to let you know how bad your actions made me feel, George. Well, I'll be leaving now. Um, mind if I have another cookie?" Back in the basement, First Caleb and Buffy trade barbs, and I think Buffy wins the battle of "wits" when she suggests, "Have you ever considered a cool name? I mean, since you're incorporeal and basically powerless. How 'bout 'The Taunter'?" Hey, I laughed. First Caleb reveals another crumb of The First's motivations by claiming that when its armies "outnumber the humans on this Earth," it will achieve corporeality. Er, corporealness. Well, whatever. Why it's aiming for that goal, or why it's been so pointedly focused on ineffectively killing just potential Slayers, or why oh, right. Puttin' on a happy face for the finale. Just forget all that pesky motivation stuff! It doesn't matter. If there's anything we've learned from James Bond films, it's that megalomaniacal villains always have hazy and poorly planned motivation. It's a genre thang. First Caleb tells Buffy that no one can help her and, morphing into First Buffy, reminds her that there's only one Slayer and the Slayer is always alone, will die alone. Everyone dies alone. Sad but true. Buffy stares at her doppelganger and seems to be thinking, "Hmm -- Dawn's not crazy after all. That color foundation really isn't right for me!" The pause is long enough that First Buffy wants to know where Real Buffy's snappy comeback is. Real Buffy's reply is, "You're right." Spike suddenly starts wiggling, and still in his sleep, bursts out, "I'm drowning in footwear!" First Buffy vanishes. Spike wants to know if Buffy is okay, and she tells him, "I just realized something. Something that really never occurred to me before. We're gonna win." She's going to drown The First in footwear?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Episode Report CardAce: B- | 2362 USERS: B-
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Buffy the Vampire Slayer