Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Episode Report Card
Ace: C+ | 27 USERS: B+
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It's Buffy's world, we just live in it

Previously on Buffy: Aw, c'mon. Let's not worry about that. Let's just move on to the episode. But it figures the time I finally decide to skip 'em, they're only about forty seconds long.

Buffy and Angel are kissing. Then they stop. David Boreanaz looks a little cross-eyed here. Both actors blink a lot, leading me to believe that the fumes from the torches are getting to them. Or that they're expressing some sort of emotion signified by blinkiness, which would be -- um, I'm stumped, because I don't think they're crying. Buffy believes basking in Batboy's blundering bathos is beneficial. Angel explains that he came to Sunnydale to deliver the Wolfram & Hart file; he and Buffy discuss the fact that she's facing The First Evil, which is "raising an army." That must be Buffy's shorthand for "I know The First has already gathered its army and it's sitting right under the Hellmouth, and I know that the soldiers of that army don't actually need to exit by the Seal since we encountered some übervamps in the sewers last week, and frankly I'm baffled as to why The First hasn't acted yet, or why it scared off all the Sunnydale residents, or why it led me right to a weapon it had uncovered but knew it couldn't use, but we don't have time to discuss all that and I'm all lightheaded from the kissing, so I'll just say it's raising an army." Angel's about to hand over the Wolfram & Hart file when Caleb jumps up and punches him really hard with a statue of a cat. Perhaps it's cat-goddess Bast? Angel and the file both go skidding across the floor, which looks funny in slo-mo because Angel's legs wave around like he's dancing on his stomach. Oh, and I was slo-moing there to see what Caleb hit Angel with, because I thought it was a model horse-head, which seemed like a very, very odd decorating choice for an Egyptian-style tomb. Caleb has a black, yucky pudding-like substance running out his eyes, and he sounds like his mouth is full of it too when he yells at Buffy, "Are you weady to fwinish this? Bwitch!" I'm assuming that's a rhetorical question and Caleb isn't going to pull out his Franklin Covey Day Planner (tastefully bound in the tanned skin of innocents and accessorized with a cunning demon-skull charm) if Buffy replies she isn't, in fact, ready to finish this. "Well, bitch, I don't think I'll be available at one, because I have a lunch meeting with The Great Satan, but I might be able to squeeze you in before my 4 PM hot stone massage. Those übervamps really know their pressure points!" Buffy looks surprised that The Vessel of The First, whom she only vaguely slashed across the stomach, might not have been dead after all. Should've saved the kissing for post-dismemberment of your enemies, Buffy.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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