Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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Episode Report Card
Ace: C+ | 24 USERS: A-
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It's Buffy's world, we just live in it

Cut to Andrew and Anya. I guess the übervamps took a minute to whip out their cells and called up at the Sunnydale Free-Range Bringer Farm, Winery, and Former Monastery to ask The First if the Bringers could come out and play, because there's a ton of them here now. Were they even factored into Buffy's plan? One of Bringers rushes up behind Anya, raises his curved knife high over his head, and slices her in half. Just like that. It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment. I guess it's really over. You can't have Ganya with no Anya. Unless Anya comes back from the grave to be an oracle of truth to some sitcom family. It could be like Party of Five with Ganya! That show probably wouldn't have been such a pit of everlasting suck if they had thrown a snarky British librarian and a one-thousand-year-old ex-vengeance demon into the mix. Think about that duo telling those mopey Salinger whiners to shove it! Now that's an iteration of Party of Five I might tune in for.

Sep: I'm sad that Anya bit it.
Ace: Me too. Think of her poor pathetic little life. A thousand-plus years and she was only ever really happy for a couple of them.
Sep: It just goes to show you that you shouldn't break up with a Scooby. Terrible things happen.
Ace:Well, technically, Angel's still "alive," and as far as we know Oz is too.
Sep: Yeah, but Angel did a hundred years in hell and has really stupid hair. And Oz is burdened with the pain of being very, very short. A pain I know all too well.

Giles and Wood are still in the midst of fighting various Bringers and übervamps. Wood gets stabbed! Giles runs a Bringer through, and then Wood collapses into Giles's arms. Y'know? I think it's BUNK that Anya and Andrew got paired together. They're both fairly weak fighters. It would have made more sense to pair one of them with either Wood or Giles, but I guess it's some sort of poetic justice that Anya died so that Andrew could live. And by "died," I mean her whole character arc croaking after "Selfless" so that we could focus on Andrew.

Under the Seal! Under the Seal! Sorry. Sorry! It really is the last time I'll do that, for real. Faith is set upon by three vamps and goes down. She tosses the axe to Rona. Buffy surveys her surroundings and sees an übervamp feasting on a Junior Miss, possibly Chao Ahn. Couldn't tell. A stake clatters to the floor, followed by the lifeless, wide-eyed body of another Junior Miss. I cock my head to the side, trying to figure out if that's Millie. I think it is! Boo! Hiss! That sucks! I liked Millie. Mathletes forever! Wooo! Ahem. Suddenly The First appears to Buffy as Buffy, wound and all. "Mommy, this mortal wound is all…itchy," baby-voices The First. Hee. It's finally begun to amuse me in the last twelve minutes of this season? "You pulled a nice trick. You came pretty close to smacking me down," taunts First Buffy. "What more do you want?" "I want you to get out of my face," grits Buffy, rising. Rona tosses the axe to Buffy, and she sends a whole set of übervamps flying over the edge of the cliff. Faith kicks off her three attackers and gets up to fight further. Wait a sec. What happened to Buffy getting gutted? Is this like one of those times that Buffy just decides to win and then does, except this time she decided that she didn't really want a mortal wound, so she was magically healed? Triumphant fighty-fight music plays.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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