Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
admin: B+ | 5 USERS: A-
Doin' the wild thang

Okay. I haven't had to work this hard on a recap in a long time.

Early last week, I get off MUNI a few stops early to make sure to stop by the local independent video store, so I can pick up the first third-season Buffy tape and bring all the MBTV Buffyholics across the land much joy in the long and barren summer. I walk in and realize that they've completely reorganized the place. I don't find the TV section on the first floor, so I move on to the second, where somebody finally asks if they can help me. I tell the guy what I'm after, and he says, "Oh, your guess is as good as mine." I give him the stink-eye and go poking around, trying to find my damn tape. Guy comes up to me again and says, "They're not over there." Biting back any number of clever and witty retorts, I go downstairs again to ask someone at the front desk to help me, since I'm getting a little tired of being a conscripted participant in the video store clerk's game of Hot and Cold. Desk clerk tells me to ask upstairs. I fill him in on the general unhelpfulness of the people upstairs. Desk clerk says, "I bet it's still in a box or something." Then he just looks at me. Doesn't apologize. Not even a cursory "sorry." I keep looking at him. I ask if he could help me find it. He asks me what I want him to do. At that point I very calmly walk out and resolve to never, ever go there again. Or at least until I have a hankering to see a documentary on bizarre religious sects based in the Midwest.

I start my walk home. I'm seething. Half a block down, a homeless person asks me for some change. I don't have any. I suppose I could ask him if he has change for a twenty, but I think that would be gauche or something. I look him in the eye. I smile and I tell him that I don't have any change on me, because I don't want to deny his humanity or anything. He says thanks and then tells me, "Never lose that pretty smile." I nod curtly, keep walking, and don't let on that he just pressed one of my big buttons because the guy's homeless and I figure he's probably already having a bad day. So I cut him a little slack. Then he yells out after me, "And grow your hair long!" At which point I completely lose it. I whirl around all finger-stabbing fury and screech, "CRAM it, buddy!" Because there's nothing I hate more than some guy trying to assert weird, unsolicited penis-boy authority over my appearance. Of course, three seconds later I feel like the biggest heel on the planet because I yelled at a homeless person.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12Next

Buffy the Vampire Slayer




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP