Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Conversations With Dead People

Episode Report Card
Sep: A | 5 USERS: A+
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Conversations With Dead People

We begin with the title of this episode, "Conversations With Dead People," and then the date and time flashing across the screen. I'll bet Buffy wishes she could time-shift instead of having to stand stock-still and wait for three minutes of commercials to go by. I know you're a Slayer and probably don't have too much time left on this earth, Buffy, but isn't that all the more reason to have a TiVo? Isn't the time you do have too valuable to sit through endless advertising jingles? Onstage at the Bronze, a band preps for their set, and as Angie Hart, former lead singer of Frente, begins to sing, we segue into a musical montage. I like it when there's a lot of music and lyrics. I don't feel the need to recap them. Hell, I can't even hear most of them, not having bat ears. Buffy walks through a graveyard as "night falls." A pensive Spike sits at the bar, a bottle of hard liquor at his side. UCS library. A sleepy Willow dozes next to a pile of books. Dawn returns to a darkened house and then just throws her jacket off to one side. Hang up! Your! Jacket! Dawn! No wonder I don't like you. She goes into the kitchen to find a note saying that everyone will be home late, and Dawn should take the attached money and get dinner from the store. Under no circumstances is she to get pizza. Back at the graveyard, Buffy kneels down in front of a fresh grave and waits until a hand bursts out of the ground. "Here we go," she says resignedly.

We return from commercials to see an El Camino cruising down the street, driven by none other than Jonathan. The rear windshield is all decked out in "Mexican" decorations. Yeah, that's in quotes for a reason. Andrew, in the passenger seat, whines that Jonathan is spending too much time circling and he should just get on with the plan. Jonathan wants to keep it "low pro," because the last time they showed their faces in Sunnydale, thirty-three and a third percent of the Legion of Dim got skinned. Andrew is all, "We've got a plan. We're gonna fix all that." Jonathan thinks that they should have stayed in Mexico, but Andrew was having trouble with the language (apparently, Klingon has a much clearer system of transitive and intransitive verbs), and, y'know, the nightmares. It seems that the remaining Duo of Dim has also been plagued by the very same bad dreams that have been menacing Buffy. But what self-respecting force of evil would waste its time with these two losers?

Back at the graveyard, Buffy exchanges blows with the newly-risen vamp. I think she's wearing the bangs from Anya's "Two to Go"/"Grave" wig.

At home, Dawn chows on a piece of forbidden pizza (the tastiest kind) and, with her mouth full, sings a charming little song that goes, "Anchovies! Anchovies! You're so delicious. I like you better than all the other fishes!" Okay. Dawn can stay a little longer. She then engages in more typical unsupervised teen behavior, raiding Buffy's closet and accidentally spilling pizza sauce on a blouse. Dawn is momentarily worried, but then shrugs as she realizes that Buffy'll probably just think it's a bloodstain. Heh. Then it's time to play with all the weapons. Dawn fires a crossbow bolt into the wall, cringing as it takes out a chunk of said wall when she attempts to remove it. Ever solution-oriented, Dawn drags a large ficus over to hide the damage. Later, Dawn strolls into the kitchen, where the radio is tuned to The Salsa Station Of Hidden Pain that Buffy was listening to in one of those ultra-boring fifth-season episodes that I'm still repressing, but Dawn dances over to the cupboard to grab some marshmallows for some microwaving fun. I think I've probably told this story in a recap before, but I figure that if I can recycle my Anya/Bunnicula joke once per season, this one is fair game too. So. My roommate brought home a big pile of Marshmallow Peeps from a post-Easter sale. I took one look at them and screeched, "Peeps show!" before grabbing one, winging it into the microwave, and making "Bamp-chicka-bow-wow" noises while watching the Peep swell and undulate in the microwave. Try it. It's fun. Also, I have in my notes from the first airing of this episode, "Dawn no like monkey-brain marshmallows." I think I'll just leave that in. You'll either find it as amusing as I do or marvel at my illiteracy. Dawn's still enjoying herself when a large BANG resonates through the house. Dawn looks around in fear.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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