MONDO EXTRAS

Sebastian goes to see Reese at her place. He tells her he doesn't love her, that she was just a conquest, that he loves someone else, that he feels nothing for her, and that he just wanted to see what she was like in bed. She is less than thrilled. But he is also crying and shaking, and she points this out and calls him a coward, and her acting is great in this scene, and his doesn't suck, and he clearly does love her but is weak and scared out of his mind, and . . . well. I guess this scene got to me a little. Oh, Reese, you're too good for him anyway. She shrieks and slaps him and throws him out and yells, "Don't touch me!" and I guess her folks aren't home, because no way am I staying out of my daughter's room when she's clearly being assaulted by some shmoe.

Bitchy enters her room, and Sebastian is waiting inside; he tells her about dumping Reese, and he's clearly there to cash in his winnings. She tells him to get lost because Ronald is coming over, possibly to serenade her about the life of Dr. Martin Luther King. Sebastian basically yells, "Check and mate!" while wielding a letter from Ronald, dumping Bad Buffy. See, Sebastian reunited Ronald with Cecile, and now the Cello Teacher doesn't want Step-sis anymore. Uh-oh, SMG, looks like someone's calling your Bluff-y!

Oh, but in high drama like this, reversals pile upon reversals, and Super-Evil Buffy reveals that she knows Sebastian really loves Reese, but he gave up on her because Buffy threatened his reputation. She says, "I think that's the saddest thing I've ever heard," and smiles wickedly. (Somewhere, Christopher Guest and William Goldman file a copyright infringement lawsuit against this movie for STEALING DIALOGUE from The Princess Bride, and also for making it suck.) Apparently, Sebastian's just a pawn, a little toy Buffy likes to play with, and she's sure he's come to collect on the bet, but "unfortunately, I don't fuck losers." Gee, I don't remember that clause in the contract. Sounds to me like she's just making up rules. Also, she's gone from screaming that she wants sex two scenes ago to not caring that Ronald has ditched her and turning away Sebastian, so I'm guessing she's invested in another little toy she likes to play with, one that buzzes.

Blah blah blah, no one will tell Sebastian where Reese is, or give her messages from him. He grabs the journal, takes it to her place, and gives it to someone who is presumably Reese's mom, and who looks a lot like Sarah Jessica Parker. I knew that journal would be important. I'm smart like that.