MONDO EXTRAS

Buffy is giving a little speech to the students about Sebastian. In the middle of her speech a Random Girl runs in, excitedly shows some bound written material to some people, points outside, and everyone starts streaming out of the room after her. Buffy wonders angrily if these people have any respect, which is a fair question, because wouldn't the average person wait until the memorial service is over to go see what neato thing is taking place outside? What-frigging-ever.

Anyhow, as "Bittersweet Symphony" rounds out the soundtrack, Buffy follows the crowd outside, where everyone is reading copies of Sebastian's journal, which is un-cleverly called Cruel Intentions. Wow, that journal became more important than I ever imagined. It reveals all the embarrassing truths about Bad Buffy, and everyone looks at her disapprovingly, because they've all apparently read the entire thing in the three minutes they've had to do so. The headmaster reaches for Buffy's Coke-Cross, opens it, and spills out her stash, which I guess means that that little secret is in the journal, too. But of course the headmaster hasn't seen the journal yet, so like everything else in this movie, this makes no sense.

Indeed, upon careful review, I see that there is a page in the journal with a picture of Bad Buffy with the words "deceitful" and "coke problem" written around her head. Gee, I hope no one ever photocopies a picture of me and writes something bad near it, because apparently this would incriminate me, and justify random searches of my personal belongings by people who haven't even seen it.

And now we're back on the highway, with the nice car, and Reese is driving and wearing Sebastian's sunglasses, so I guess he left those items to her in the will he wrote between being hit by the taxi and dying on the street. ["Which was executed in the twenty minutes after the memorial service." -- Sars] Roll credits. Eric Mabius, we hardly knew ye.

And I am left thinking two things. First, that thank god Manchester Prep, the TV show based on this travesty, was cancelled before a single episode aired, though it would have made a great addition to MBTV. And secondly, that I cannot wait to cleanse myself by recapping six eps of My So-Called Life, though it will take all six before I feel clean again.

Till then: You can put it anywhere...