Greg is bragging to his football buddies about a presumably fabricated sexual exploit. Blaine calls. Greg switches the phone to his right hand, drops the tough guy act, says hello to Blaine politely, and is therefore gay.
Morticia Buffy is combing Cecile's hair in the park. Cecile mentions that Court told her about a "bulimic head-case he dumped." Heh. Buffy yanks Cecile's hair. Wow, SMG seemed to take that really personally. Anyway, Cecile needs to learn how to kiss for her weekend in the Hamptons with Court, and Buffy starts making out with her. ("How do you think girls learn?" What? Okay.) In the middle of the park. In broad daylight. Because she's trying really hard to keep up her front of being an upstanding religious girl with a sterling reputation. But Cecile reveals her real crush is on Ronald the Cello Teacher, and Sophistica-Bitch Buffy is supportive, and stresses the importance of keeping the crush secret from Cecile's mother.
Reese is distracted from reading a letter by loud opera music. The source turns out to be an indoor swimming pool apparently equipped with speakers. Sebastian is sitting in a wheelchair, just for fun, which is not tasteless at all, and Reese tells him to keep it down. He gives her a bag with an engraved nameplate. She looks at him as though he is charming, but I am still not convinced. Reese looks really cute in this scene. Maybe she will read this recap, and realize Ryan's a putz, and marry me.
Reese is now in a robe, and returns to the pool to find Sebastian naked, and his ass actually looks pretty weird. They both start to swim, and banter, and she quotes to him from her friend's letters about him: "Even more treacherous than he is attractive." That's not hard. The Pope is more treacherous than Ryan Phillippe is attractive. He cops to his bad reputation, trying the honest approach, if by "honest" one means "equally transparent." Reese reveals she's seeing someone else already, and books. Hey Ryan, she was talking about me.
Sebastian walks in on Greg and Blaine getting it on. Sebastian mentions Greg's father's potential humiliation, and Greg agrees to "do anything" to keep his homosexuality a secret. I feel kind of bad for Greg, actually; he looks really scared, but at the same time any father who would be "humiliated" to have a gay son kind of deserves to be humiliated. And even those fathers can change, right, Angry McPhee? Anyhow, turns out Greg's not the informant after all, so Sebastian decides to blackmail Greg into talking him up to Reese, and also finding out who the real bad-mouther is.