MONDO EXTRAS

Greg is walking on the beach with Reese, doing just that. Apparently, Greg would rather betray his oldest friend than come to terms with his sexuality. He's a football star with an intolerant father, so I guess I can buy that, but at the very least that makes him a really really awful friend.

Greg calls up Sebastian and tells him the secret informant is Cecile's mother, a.k.a. Christine Baranski, whom we have not seen since her first scene and have pretty much forgotten about. And why would Cecile's mom warn some random girl she doesn't know about Sebastian anyway? Oh, they "met at orientation." More like Plot Contrivance-tation. Whatever.

Beelze-Buffy is watching Cecile's "music lesson," which involves flashing Ronald the Cello Teacher while doing a headstand. She is observing them on what appears to be a closed-circuit security monitor on the TV in her living room. Sebastian blands into the room. Suddenly, Sebastian and Buffy decide that the audience is very stupid, which, if they paid nine dollars for this (I know, I know, shut UP) they are. Either that, or both characters have been bitten by a virulent Exposition Spider. The conversation literally goes like this (more or less):

Sebastian: "Cecile's mom ratted me out. I will destroy her." Gruffy: "Cecile has fallen for Ronald the Cello Teacher." Sebastian: "Cecile's mom won't like that." (Presumably because Ronald is black. Did I get it?) Huffy: "But Ronald is moving too slow." Sebastian: "Explain your plan so that a moron could understand it." Don't-Stop-Till-You-Get-Enuffy: "Tell mom about the boyfriend. Mom breaks them up." Sebastian: "But who will they turn to for help?" I-Like-It-Ruffy: "Cecile is planning on going away with Court next week. I want Ronald to screw her before she goes." Sebastian: "Okay." Use-The-Hand-Cuffy then delivers the least comprehensible line in the entire movie, I swear, when she says: "I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny." Which either means that things she hates make her horny (guh?) or that she hates being horny (buh?). Zuh? Then she climbs on Sebastian's lap and reaches her hand, mercifully, out of the frame, and does something ribald to him. Then she leaves, and he is frustrated, probably because she stayed for so long.