MONDO EXTRAS

Sebastian calls Reese with some lame lost-glasses premise, though he's wearing his glasses. Sneaky. He tells her he misses her, and they go for a walk, during which she wears a shirt eight sizes too small for her.

Take-No-Guffy meets Christine Baranski and reveals the relationship between Cecile and Ronald the Cello Teacher. Mom is none too pleased, because Ronald is, guess what, black. Man, didn't see that coming. Double-Stuffy says: "You will be discreet about this?" And mom says she will, so we know she won't.

Mom storms into the middle of a cello lesson, yells at Ronald, makes racist assumptions about where he lives (hold the phone, is Ronald black?), and throws him out. Very discreet. She's almost as charming as Sebastian.

Sebastian and I-Sleep-In-The-Buff-y show Ronald a letter from Cecile, and promise to help rekindle their "music lessons." Ronald rushes off to write more love letters. Sebastian has a sudden attack of morals and frets about "destroying an innocent girl." With her dark hair glinting, Buffy shoots him down by knocking the slut/stud double-standard, which she's not wrong about. But then she says: "Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine twenty-four/seven?" Whatever, Evil Buffy. Try three/one. You're a bitch for ninety-five percent of this movie. And, actually, if you don't relish acting like Mary Sunshine twenty-four/seven, SMG, maybe you should adopt this character's personality and quit your actual life. Anyhow, Cecile calls, crying. Sebastian invites her over to get Ronald's latest letter. She sneaks out and uses the old doll-in-the-bed trick to make her mom think she's still at home. That'll work.

Sebastian is getting Cecile drunk on his bed and taking pictures of her while she writes a response to Ronald's letter. He tries to get her to strip for the pictures. She's not cool with that. He threatens to call her mom and tell on her unless she kisses him, thus actually BREAKING THE LAW instead of just being a creep like usual. She says okay, and he prepares to kiss her, but not exactly on her face, if you know what I mean, explaining that he didn't say where he was going to kiss her. She is very drunk and also very stupid, and is therefore persuaded by his logic. He drops out of the frame and -- oh, you know.