Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dead Things

Episode Report Card
Sep: B- | 2 USERS: B+
Dead Things

Sep: Again. This is anatomically impossible, right? She's a good three feet shorter than he is.
Ace: Well, the show has been skewing a little more sci-fi lately. Maybe the fiction comes in where we're all supposed to believe that Spike is hung like an elephant.
Sep: Heh. Maybe that's how Buffy came back wrong -- with a prolapsed uterus.
Ace: Ow. Moving on. Yes. I do think these sex scenes are unconvincing. Not that I would know. And that's really all I want to say about it because my parents read these.
Sep: Really? You're so lucky My m-o-m doesn't take an interest.
Ace: What the h-e-l-l are you spelling for?
Sep: Well, it's not that she doesn't read them at all. She uses the search function to see if I've mentioned her and reads only those bits. Cracks me up. She's learned only enough about technology so as to enable her to use her computer like a huge vanity mirror with 128 megs of RAM.

Outside Der Zauber Kasten, Xander and Willow run into a just-departing Tara, who's carrying a big book that obviously has something to do with magic. Because it's all musty and bound and stuff. After sharing a small smile with Tara, Xander departs to give the former lovebirds a little space. Willow attempts to make some small talk, but then stumbles into some awkward junkie rhetoric: "No spells for 32 days." Y'know. In case Tara was interested in taking her back or something. She babbles on, dropping a pretty big hint that she was hoping Tara was at Der Zauber Kasten to check up on her. For her part, Tara assumes that Willow would be upset if she were indeed monitoring Willow's activities, and explains that she was really looking for Buffy. Willow says that Buffy has been notoriously absent lately and that "we kinda miss her," in a thinly-veiled ambiguous-pronoun-use attempt to tell Tara that she, Willow, misses her, Tara. Tara earnestly says, "I'm sure she feels the same way." Aw. She walks away, but then turns back to Willow and says, "I'm glad you're doing better." Y'know, all through this scene I kept getting distracted by the fact that both Willow and Tara's outfits allowed little flashes of their bellybuttons to peek out. I kept imagining their bellybuttons having a conversation in sad little voices like, "Hey, it's nice to see you." "I miss you." "Oh gosh. I really wish these two would get their shit together so we could be together again!" Huh. I think that was funnier when it was in my head.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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