Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Dead Things

Episode Report Card
Sep: B- | 2 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Dead Things

Cut to the Vanagon of Dooooom. Warren and Andrew are observing the events on their fancy-schmancy set-up. I'd really like to know how they managed to have the entire surrounding area of the cemetery under surveillance, since Buffy and Spike have already left the scene of the "crime." "Katrina" pulls open the door to the van and climbs in. Her mascara is smudged from crying. Warren congratulates "Katrina" on her performance, and then Katrina morphs into a skirt-clad Jonathan, mascara still smeared with tears. Jonathan agrees that it was "some of [his] best work," but it doesn't sound like the achievement is making him very happy. Andrew wants to know what happens next, and Jonathan snarks, "The night's young. There's gotta be some more girls we could kill." Warren callously sums it up: "We stick to the plan. Buffy thinks she killed Katrina. It's her problem now."

Cut to the Summers home. Buffy is tossing and turning in bed, sleeping fitfully. This is one of those dream things, so I'm just going to summarize. Her dreams are a mixture of sex with Spike and the murder of Katrina, and I'm not really one for dream analysis, but notice how she's dreaming of two very disturbing things? There might be something to that. Buffy wakes up breathing heavily.

Cut to Dawn's room. Buffy enters, her coat on, and sits on the edge of Dawn's bed. She watches Dawn sleep for a moment and puts her hand on Dawn's arm. Dawn stirs, and Buffy says, "I love you. You know that, right?" Dawn is immediately suspicious of any sort of attention from her big sister, and sits up. "What's wrong?" she demands. Buffy tries to tell Dawn that despite her shortcomings, she loves Dawn and always will. Dawn is wigged, and Buffy is forced to explain about Katrina. Dawn reaches her arms around Buffy, all the better to hug her. Buffy says that she has to go turn herself in. Dawn wants to know what this all means. She has a horrible realization: "They'll take you away. Won't they?" Buffy just repeats that she's sorry. Dawn calls her on her bluff, saying that Buffy isn't happy here with Dawn, never wanted to come back in the first place, and just wants to go away again. "Well, go," she finishes in tears, "you're not really here anyway." Dawn flounces out of the room and Buffy looks down at the coverlet forlornly.

Establishing shot of Sunnydale police department. Pan across to the alley. Buffy is about to turn the corner and march herself right inside to turn herself in when Spike steps out of the shadows and throws her down in the alley. She's all, "I have to confess." He's all, "Confess what?" Which is pretty much the essence of their differences right there. He thinks that they won't believe her, what with the demon time-looping element. Which really is SO beside the point. Buffy counters that she'll "show them." Spike: "Show them what?" Buffy gets a horrified look on her face and asks what Spike did. He replies that he made good on his promise to take care of things. She's repulsed. He doesn't get it. "It doesn't matter now. No one will ever find her." Offscreen, we hear two policemen talking about how they found a body in the river, "washed up half a mile from the cemetery." Spike dumped her in the river? Putting aside the notion of how very, very wrong it was to dump Katrina's body somewhere, let's just think about what a poor choice of disposal method that was. Guy lives in a graveyard crypt. Couldn't he have buried her in the cemetery? Nobody would ever look for a dead body there. Sheesh.

Back in the alley, Spike still seems to be missing the point. He's focusing on the ability of the police to connect the crime to Buffy, but Buffy is more upset about having, y'know, killed a human. Buffy tries to push past him. He grabs her and stops her. He can't let her go, because he wuuuuuvs her. Buffy punches him and sends him flying, then turns around to go inside. Spike recovers and, in vamp face, pitches her backwards into the alley, insisting that he's not going to let her throw her "life away over this." Buffy retorts that it isn't his choice. And y'know? It really, really isn't. Granted, I don't think that turning herself in is the best way to handle this situation, but I have to respect Buffy's need to do what she feels is right. Although I really don't understand why nobody called Giles. Too bad about that telecommunications strike in merry olde England. Sigh. I miss Giles. There is a large, Giles-shaped hole in my heart. Spike tries to convince Buffy that "one dead girl doesn't tip the scale," in light of how many people she's saved. And this is why you shouldn't date someone with a value system that is diametrically opposed to yours. Maybe if anyone other than Spike had been with Buffy, they might have checked the body as a matter of course and found it cold and stiff. Spike invites Buffy to explain her point of view, and instead she kicks him in the chest. He seems to welcome the pain -- "That's it. Put it all on me" -- and Buffy tackles him to the ground and beats the freakin' bejesus out of him, all the while telling him how "there is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside. You. Can't. Feel anything real." What's that? Is that the glint of a tiny little mirror on Spike's forehead? Don't get me wrong. I'm not opposed to seeing Spike getting the crap kicked out of him. On a daily basis. For the next hundred years or so. He's done a lot of terrible, awful things and I think he deserves all this and more. But I really, really don't want Buffy to be the one to dish it out. I'm worried about what it means for Buffy that she's betraying the things she believes in by treating Spike this way. Buffy gets a hold of herself and gets up. Spike croaks, "You always hurt the one you love, pet," while his eye proceeds to swell shut. Buffy looks around, confused, and then slowly walks towards the police station. She enters and approaches to the front-desk sergeant, who is on the phone. She waits. He answers another call with, "Yeah, the phones are ringing off the hook," which never fails to crack me up. While she's waiting, she overhears that the body has been identified as Katrina Silber. Buffy puts two and two together and comes up with Warren, then takes off before the desk sergeant gets off the phone.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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