Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Doomed

Episode Report Card
Sep: D | 5 USERS: C+
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Doomed

They walk out of the library and run right into Spike, Willow, and Xander. Riley starts trying to fast-talk his way out of this; unfortunately for him, that requires fast thinking, so the best he can come up with is, "I was just passing by." Willow: "You were just passing by in your GI Joe outfit?" Riley says he was playing paintball, but Xander cuts him off by saying, "So you're one of the commando guys." Riley deflects the attention to Spike, asking if they've met. Spike says that he's just a pal of Xander's in the funniest fake Midwestern accent I've ever heard, but of course Riley doesn't pick up on it. They all file out as Willow and Xander have the requisite "doesn't everything look weird and smaller now that we're part of the big bad real world" speech. Yawn. Okay, I know I'm supposed to be indebted to Riley for saving Buffy or whatever, but I'm really pissed that he was following her. Didn't she tell him to leave her alone? I absolutely hate guys who don't think the word "no" applies to them. Add this to their driving-as-sexual-metaphor conversation, in which Riley's side can be summed up as "well, you'll like it with me," and it just makes me loathe his character even more.

Establishing shot of UC Sunnydale. Riley is in his dorm room (how many grad students live on campus?) playing foam basketball when Buffy stops by. Riley blabbers on about how "dead" he is for spilling the Initiative beans, saying, "It's the end of the world." "No, it's not," Buffy corrects him as she leans over and they -- aw, crap. Y'all don't need me to tell you and I'd rather fast-forward through it anyway. Buffy, how could you?

Willow and Xander are watching TV in the Basement of Debasement. It's nice to see them hanging out together again. Spike walks over and stops in front of the television as they, in tandem, do The Lean to try to see around him Spike: "Watching the telly while there's evil still afoot. Not very industrious of you." He switches off the box and tries to enlist them to go kick some undead ass, allegedly for the sake of "justice and the safety of -- puppies, and Christmas," but we know that he really just wants to perpetrate some violence. They stare at him blankly as the screen goes black and the last thing we hear is Spike saying, "Oh come on!"

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer

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