Previously on Buffy: Spuffy had lots of sex. Legion of Dim was unmasked, and Amy deratted. Willow starred in a very special episode of Buffy, while Buffy was broke. But who cares about any of that, because there's a rare Giles sighting. Come back to me, Giles!

Summers home. Xander, Willow, and Anya sit around clearing up loose plot threads from the last episode (except for the one where Social Services told Buffy that Dawn was missing too much school, and they were going to re-interview to see if Buffy was a fit guardian -- that thread is just left dangling). Willow says that by the time they made it to the Legion of Dim's basement lair, the Dimsters had already disappeared. Maybe if Buffy and Willow hadn't taken time out for a soiree of self-pity, complete with hors d'oeuvres and a live band, they might have gotten there in time to apprehend them. Willow gets all drooly talking about the mystical booty that the nerds had left behind. Anya then starts off on a tangent about demons being better than people and doesn't even tie it back to the original conversation and God I hate all of these people so much right now. "Workers are the tools that shape America," pronounces Anya, as a very labored set-up for Buffy's entrance in her stripey-uniform polyester fast-food outfit complete with rooster hat. Buffy: "I was kinda feeling like a tool. And now I know why."

Credits. Can someone please send a memo to my cat to tell her that cat-in-lap and laptop computer is not a workable combination? Because she just doesn't listen when I try to tell her. Or put her back down on the floor forty-seven times in a row.

We return to a fast-food training film which Buffy is watching in a dim, cramped room. She stares vacantly at a number of automatons who are proud to be part of the "Doublemeat experience," serving slabs o' crap on a double bun to the proles. Ooh! Star wipe! Gotta love the star wipe! As the film "takes a look at the process of harvesting these two special meats" that make up the Doublemeat burger, the camera focuses on Buffy growing increasingly more disgusted with the sounds of cow and chicken death. Heh. Looks like someone's going to Bovine University. What feels like hours later, we're on to personal hygiene. Then Manny the Manager flips on the light and interrogates Buffy as to why she desires to work fast food. Buffy starts to explain that she needs money fast, thus making herself sound like a strung-out junkie, but soon her brain cells rally and she stutters, "Because I wanted to be part of the Doublemeat experience?" Manny gives Buffy a tour of the restaurant, and things are strange. The listless coworkers. The still-occupied locker Manny assigns to Buffy. The ten-years-at-Doublemeat pin on Manny. The off-limits freezer. And, most disturbingly, the perfect slices of "chicken" and the dehydrated pickles. The hell? Who dehydrates pickles? Except maybe astronauts. Messing with pickles is just so wrong. It reminds me of how there used to be a yummy private hot dog stand here on campus that had turkey dogs and tofu dogs, but the university got all proprietary and had to replace it with their own stand, which doesn't have tofu dogs and serves their dogs topped with a gooey, chemical-tasting, neon green relish. Neon green! So no more dogs for me. Anyway, Manny finishes up the tour with the crown jewel of the restaurant, the Doublemeat Medley. It's a symphony of partially hydrogenated trans fatty acids. Manny makes Buffy eat one. Scary. When this episode first aired, I had just eaten some "low fat" frozen pizza that wasn't sitting too well. That, combined with my already weak stomach (especially where shots of greasy meat are concerned), made this episode a living hell of indigestion and ooginess for me. When Buffy had to eat the burger, I actually gagged. Buffy asks about the secret ingredient, but is only told, "It's a meat process." Oooooh. That isn't helping my poor tummy any.