Xander and Dawn are playing Go Fish at Der Zauber Kasten when Buffy shows up and tosses some wrapped fast food on the table in front of them. She's pissy because she called an emergency meeting and only ended up with Dawn and Xander. I guess I'd be pissy too. Heh. Low blow, but too easy to pass up. Buffy, who has changed into a cute outfit of a black muscle t-shirt and black pants, wants to know where Willow and Anya are. Dawn explains that she knocked on Willow's door but didn't get an answer, and of course we all know where Anya is at the moment. Not even displaying any interest in Buffy's emergency, Xander just wants to talk about whether Buffy ever saw Anya with her true vengeance demon face. He's creeped out by Hallie's appearance. Buffy ignores all this blather (and really, since Anya is human now, it should hardly matter to Xander what she used to look like) and just snaps, "There's something wrong at the Doublemeat Palace. Really wrong!" Buffy flounces over to the counter; Dawn follows, wondering why Buffy smells funny. Dawn guesses that Buffy's been fighting a demon, but it's actually Doublemeat stench. Buffy sniffs her hair and rants about how she just tried to do something normal, get a normal job, and instead she ended up right back where she started, "Blood and death and funky smells." She digs around in her purse and pulls out a paper napkin. Inside is the severed carrot, which she just shows to Dawn, grumping, "Look what I found, near the grinder." Dawn is disgusted, and I'm skeptical that the finger, which has left a bloody smear on the napkin, would still be bleeding, like, twenty-four hours after it was cut off. Buffy explains that she thinks the finger might be Gary's and that he might have been ground up as the secret ingredient in the Doublemeat beef patty. She proposes that they analyze the burger she's brought to see if it contains "people." "What? People?" says Xander with his mouth full, and swallows hard. Oops -- he can't believe he ate the whole thing. Buffy and Xander bicker about him having eaten her evidence, and he's hurt that she's not more concerned that he just downed a whole bunch of people parts.
Willow finally comes rushing in, apologizing for being so late. I notice that Dawn is wearing an astoundingly ugly shirt, with brown jersey-style sleeves that are shirred where they meet the chest and featuring a random pattern of brown and tan kitten heads. Dawn makes a cranky face at Willow. I make a cranky face at Dawn's Wet Seal top. Xander does a burp-talk thing that further queases me out and then Willow, trying to act normal, picks up a pencil off the table, which immediately goes flaccid in her hand. I'm not going to make any lesbian jokes there. No sir, I'm not. Willow guiltily stuffs the limp pencil in her purse (again, not making any jokes) and flutters about for an update. Dawn explains that the "Doublemeat Medley is people." Xander burps again. My delicate stomach can't take this kind of hard-core entertainment. Buffy speculates that Doublemeat Palaces all over California are probably serving people parts, and says the gang needs to "bring down the whole corporation." Willow offers to start analyzing what's left of the burger, making very sure to point out that she will do so "with science." Buffy approves, and since it's after closing time at the restaurant, she heads out to see if she can find any information there. Willow still seems rather frazzled, so Dawn asks if she feels okay. Willow dissembles that she's merely worried about Buffy.













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