Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Episode Report Card
Sep: B | 4 USERS: A

For some reason, Xander is still lurking about in the cafeteria. Caught in Jell-O's wobbly thrall, I suppose. He sneaks up on some Jell-O, and as he's about to shove it in his mouth, he catches sight of the lunch lady. She has a huge, cartoony, yellow-and-green box labeled "Rat Poison" tipped over a stew pot. Rat poison by Blammo! Batteries not included. Xander pauses, the lunch lady continues to pour poison, and then Xander runs. Run, Xander, run! This cartoony scene has good timing and is purposefully comical, and for some reason I'm reminded of the stupid troll hammer scene in "The Gift." That was funny and cartoony, but not intentionally at all, and that's just sad. Every time I saw Buffy lift that hammer to whack Glory, I heard a old-timey car horn (AAAAHH-OO-GAH!) in my head and had the overwhelming urge to scream "ZONK!" at the TV. Xander heads out into the cafeteria and starts flipping over tables and trays; the furious lunch lady follows him, wielding a cleaver. She's about to cleave Xander a new one when Buffy appears and catches her arm. The lunch lady is of the opinion that high-school students are "vermin" and "filth." Buffy seems to think that this indicates the lunch lady is irrational, but hey, all of us over the age of twenty-one know the truth. The lunch lady and Buffy fight, and I giggle because the lunch lady's stunt double is quite obviously a man. Buffy wins the fight.

Later, Willow and Buffy walk to school. Buffy's clad in a strange outfit, the stand-out feature being knee-high boots that are loose and floppy around the tops. She's got a Three Musketeers vibe going that isn't working for me. Willow wants to know if Buffy feels better about the situation with Angel, and Buffy replies, "Well, we talked. And then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me -- and then we talked some more. " Sounds like my best relationships. Willow and I both agree, "That's how it should work!" The girls run into Giles, and Willow trots off to give the murder profiles to the yearbook crew. Buffy and Giles continue walking; Buffy's doing fine and fills Giles in on Jonathan, who was suspended and is less popular than ever due to his rifle-toting ways. Buffy thinks he's doing better, and she's happy to be helping but she's afraid he's starting to "get that look" that means he'll ask her to prom. This conversation reminds me of the scene at the end of "Superstar," where Buffy is nasty to Jonathan and doesn't even ask him to join the rest of gang for their picnic. Grrr -- that scene annoyed me at the time and I'm getting even more annoyed here by what Buffy is saying. I guess checking up on Jonathan for a little while gave her some real warm fuzzies about her wonderful, charitable nature, but she apparently never saw fit to climb down off her pedestal and actually make friends with the guy. Buffy balks at Giles's suggestion that she might accept an invitation to prom from Jonathan. "He's like three feet tall!" she protests, which is a pretty gauche thing to say about a guy who hates himself enough to recently attempt suicide. Giles smirks and inquires if Buffy is ready to train. She agrees to work out after school, and then adds, "If you're not too busy having sex with my mother!" Whump! The dumbfounded Giles walks straight into a tree.

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer




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